Fandango’s Story Starter #42

This week’s Story Starter teaser is:

I would have happily married Darlene if it weren’t for her…

I would have happily married Darlene if it weren’t for her dog.
It’s not that I don’t like dogs or have a fear of them, but this one was a right pain.
Petra was a Jekyll and Hyde depending who was facing her.
Such a sweet little mutt I thought when we were first introduced.
Until it bit me.
‘She’s only playing!’ Darlene simpered, burying her nose in the fiend’s fur and blowing it kisses.

After that, every time I tried to hold her, let alone kiss her, the damn thing would get between us and growl, yap or snap at me.
I tried. I really tried. Going out on a date was pointless as at the last minute Darlene would say she couldn’t leave her as she had separation issues, so any intimate romantic meals were spent in her flat under the watchful (and smug) eyes of the Hound of the Basketvilles.
Our relationship surprisingly blossomed though and I was soon smitten with the human half of Bambi and Godzilla.
The crunch came, literally, when Darlene invited me to sleep over.
I took extra care with everything, even buying treats for Petra in the hope she would see me as a friend, not a threat to her attention or affection.
When I came out of the bathroom, Darlene was waiting for me in bed…….. with Petra sitting on her pillow. The dog flew at me, teeth bared, eyes red with malevolence and if it hadn’t been for the towel around my crown jewels, I would have been neutered on the spot.
I swatted at the dog and it landed with a dull thud against the dresser.
Darlene went berserk, yelling I was cruel and calling me a puppy murderer as she rushed to Petra’s side. I grabbed my clothes and left.
I found out later the dog was just stunned, but Darlene never spoke to me again and instead got a mate for Petra. The thought of miniature Hydes turned my blood cold.


About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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11 Responses to Fandango’s Story Starter #42

  1. Lauren says:

    Yikes. I’ve known dogs that were often a good judge of character. Maybe he actually was a bad guy. Or maybe the dog was just crazy. LOL A great story Di.

  2. Great story! Hahaha! Good thing for the towel!

  3. murisopsis says:

    OOOOH!! Sounds like Petra was a bit of a prude and didn’t want any premarital hanky-panky going on. Most dogs are shrewd judges of character. Perhaps….

  4. Fandango says:

    It’s you or the dog, one must go. It was probably good, in the long run, that it was you. Great story, Di!

    • Thanks. My GSD only barked at Hubby, though he wasn’t my Hubby then and she soon accepted him. I have known of some dogs that were over possessive though.

  5. Sadje says:

    Haha! Loved this story

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