Melanie aka sparksfromacombustiblemind has taken over Frank’s Truthful Tuesday.
The questions today are:
Should people be honest and just say no when asked to do something they either don’t want to do or are uncomfortable about doing?
Why aren’t more people apt to tell the truth and save everyone involved a lot of time and aggravation?
How comfortable are you with asking for help when the favor is something that will take a lot more time and work (and money with the gas price situation right now) than your relationship with the other party might warrant?
I have always been wary of making promises I may be unable to keep, especially to a child. My parents always used to say ‘We’ll see,’ which seemed such a cop out at the time, but in hindsight and having raised a family, albeit not my own, I understand now exactly where they were coming from.
We had often found ourselves being volunteered for things without being consulted and it went against the grain big time. Other times we would do someone a favour and then it would be expected as standard. Drawing the line is difficult, especially when you want to help, but have your own commitments which may prevent you from doing so when it is needed. Such commitments do not make us ‘The Bad Guy’ though in my experience, that has often been the case and we have been treated accordingly.
We had an emergency this weekend and had previously told our friend that we would be on hand if she needed us. We had a phone call just before 5am on Friday saying she was not feeling at all well and had called an ambulance. As promised, we went into overdrive got dressed in minutes, and Hubby was with her in ten. We took her dog when the ambulance took her into hospital three hours later, though it had taken two for them to arrive. She is coming home today but will take a while to get back on her feet, so I shall offer to walk Kela once a day. We cannot manage both at the same time and train Maya, so it will be one on one, but something we can work with.
Our house is however too small for two big dogs, and although we can manage short term, with an energetic (and annoying in-yer-face) pup, long term wouldn’t work.
We know it took a lot for our friend, and others we have here, to ask for help, but we are glad that we have been able to offer our assistance and support when needed.
(We shall forget the little set back earlier in the week where a friendship door has now been firmly closed after our good intentions were thrown back in our faces)
Hubby worries how I will manage if I am suddenly on my own and if I would ask for help. I can only do so much, but I could tick over and still afford to live here, but when it comes to major maintenance, I would have to ask for help from some quarter. There is bound to be someone who knows someone else who can help me, and for that I would not be afraid to ask. For us, word of mouth has always been the best advertisement.
We have always tried to be honest with everything and certainly would not promise ‘for show’ and then welsh on the deal at the last minute. We have also always paid our way one way or another, and do not take things or people for granted.
Wherever possible, we always have a back up plan, but when the back up to that fails as well, it is soul destroying to be let down by so many at a time when it mattered most.
I am glad you’d ask for help if you were in the situation where you were alone, Di! I would too I think. X
Luckily, I am chatty with a lot of different people here on our estate, so I should find someone.
A great answer to a touchy question. I am sorry a friendship door closed.
Their loss, and it didn’t happen as she relayed it anyway. She had been stewing on it for four months before saying anything, and distorted what actually happened. What she said was very hurtful.
It is hard to recover from pain purposefully sent our way.
It happens……….. but it won’t happen to us again.
Being a good neighbor is fast becoming a lost art! Too many don’t know their neighbors!
We knew our neighbours in our first house by name, but that was about it, our second house wasn’t much better, and the bungalow was either side and across the road. In the cottage we had a rank of terraces on one side and knew them by name only too. On the boat, we knew practically everyone in the marina, and here we have got to know a lot of people, most of which are dog owners!!
Thanks Di for a very thoughtful response. I got it sorted, I had the procedure and all is well (knock wood). A friend of mine who I haven’t Bern in close touch with since Vivid stepped right up and said when do we leave ? No qualifying or waffling, just a sincere desire to help. She and her husband were there promptly. Those lovely people are in their mid 80s too and their health isn’t great. But they love being helpful and of service to anyone in need. God bless them. The experience did have one result I was hoping to avoid for at least a few more years, that of moving into a place for folks in my situation, still independent but without family or support and in failing health. The worst part of the whole thing was feeling like I was imposing on people who didn’t have any obligation to me by being related. Maya sounds as if she is taking to her training quickly. What a joy! Thanks Di. 🤗
That ought to read Been in touch with since Covid. Tablet typing and auto correct =very annoying!
So glad you got it sorted Melanie and can now concentrate on your recovery. Sometimes people from the most unexpected quarter turn up trumps and I am so pleased this was the case for you.
Maya is coming along………. when she’s good, she’s brilliant, when she’s not, she’s the devil. Typical puppy. At least we’re getting some more sleep now!
Take care. Health first.