Fandango’s Provocative Question #123

Every Wednesday, Fandango poses a question in the guise of ‘provocative’.

By provocative, I don’t mean a question that will cause annoyance or anger. Nor do I mean a question intended to arouse sexual desire or interest.

What I do mean is a question that is likely to get you to think, to be creative, and to provoke a response. Hopefully a positive response.

There are two old sayings that have always intrigued me. The first is “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” This expression means that you feel more affection for those you love when parted from them. You realize how much you love that person, and the desire to see them often increases when separated.

The other old saying is “Familiarity breeds contempt.” This expression means that the more you are exposed to someone, the more bored you become, the less appreciation you have for that person, and the more you find fault with that person.

So my provocative question this week is about absence versus familiarity and how they affect relationships.

Do you think that these two sayings are two sides of the same coin and that “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is just a nice way of saying that “Familiarity breeds contempt”? Or do you believe that these two expressions have polar opposite meanings?                                          ”


I don’t think they are the same, and can throw another into the works of
Out of sight, out of mind.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder would suggest that someone is missed when they are not there, for whatever reason. We never truly appreciate what we have until we no longer have it, so by its return, maybe we won’t take so much for granted.

Familiarity breeds contempt would suggest we do take too much for granted because it is there, always has been, and we assume always will be. We can treat it or a person how we like without fear of consequence. IMO in relationships, you don’t get anything back if you don’t put something in, it takes two to make or break a relationship, give and take etc etc. However, so often one does all the giving and one does all the taking.

Out of sight, out of mind.
If you can’t see it, you don’t have to think or worry about it. Not so bad when you throw a picture or letter in a drawer and forget about it, but what about people?  I have personal experience of that, and I still haven’t forgiven the individual concerned.

Just my opinion.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have recently lost our beloved dog Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney, and now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of my GSD so had hers done too. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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5 Responses to Fandango’s Provocative Question #123

  1. Fandango says:

    Yes, out of sight, out of mind fits into this.

  2. Very good points! Our opinion differed though, but I saw the question differently too. Our experiences definitely color our opinions for things like that!

  3. Well explained…I must say…

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