Do Mothers Really Know Their Children Best – Always?

This is a toughie from Rory today.
Check out his own response here

So, to the ‘mothers, grandmothers, daughters who are now mothers and so on and on and on’ – what do you think?

Do Mothers Really Know Their Children Best – Always?

I know of some mothers who will not allow their offspring to get away from their apron strings, and others who couldn’t give a damn about their kids.

I guess as we get older and leave the parental home, our attitudes change as do our priorities, wants and needs.
Growing up, I was closer to my Dad, who knew me better than anyone purely from the way I played my music. He always knew when there was something on my mind, and equally sure when I would be ready to talk about it.
Mum and I were not as close as a lot of mothers and daughters, but then I was the youngest of her four children, and we were all different, so it would be a class act for her to know all of us better than we knew ourselves. However saying that, we did have a special bond, one that developed in my later life, and one I was privileged to have.
I miss her, and the last few months of her life were not kind as dementia took hold. It didn’t help living so far away, and contact was my letters, one or two every week for the last year or so, as she could identify the sender whereas on the phone I could sense her distress at not recognising my voice or knowing who I was.
I have a precious gift of five seconds of recognition the last time I saw her in December 2017, a day we visited her in the home and she was not well. I held her hand and talked to her as she slept, then she opened her eyes for those few moments, and knew I was there.

As to did she really know me? Maybe. But then after bad choices in partners, I was in the habit of not letting people get too close. I was friendly to everyone, but ‘The Real Me’ was a closed book that I let few open let alone read.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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5 Responses to Do Mothers Really Know Their Children Best – Always?

  1. murisopsis says:

    I knew my children very well up to the time they were in high school. They became independent and they were less likely to talk to me about things they were worried about. But in elementary school there were s few time that come to mind where others tried to tell me what was best for my child and I resisted – for example in 1st grade one teacher suggested my son was “hyperactive and needed to be medicated for ADD” and that was without any testing or other evidence. I can only imagine the damage done to some children who were medicated (sedated) on simply a teacher’s opinion…

    • My great niece was labelled with learning difficulties because she was quiet in class, when she was just shy. Some teachers are too quick to judge and if kids don’t conform are automatically diagnosed as having some TLA disorder.

  2. Sadje says:

    I never knew my mother and as a mom, I think I know my children about 50%.

  3. Liz says:

    Until mum’s mental health started to take hold of her, mum would have known me. But that past year, or two before she was sectioned, she didn’t and still doesn’t.
    As much as I am there for my mum as I can be, I don’t feel I have that connection now since I have been suicidal in 2019.
    I feel disconnected, when I am there,at the care home, as I have been since then, because leading up to that point and still now, my visits mum always shouts at me and as I have said to her, I am not having it and I will simply walk away. I won’t put up with that no more. I have not come to be shouted at.

    I wouldn’t want a repeat of my life again, if there’s such a thing as coming back and I wouldn’t want someone to have what I have had. My dad wasn’t great either and didn’t help both my mum’s mental health or my own.

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