Rory is at it again, throwing some interesting questions at us to answer. We don’t have to answer all of them but there are some doozies so feel free to jump in and answer them in a post, and remember to link back to Rory’s original piece, which I think you’ll find pretty interesting!
People are feeling the strain of living with people they share life, love, house and children with and they are struggling ………. We live in strange times .. the pandemic has affected the very structure of relationships through paranoia and trust and just a general feeling of unease with people … it has changed the very core of people, society, love and relationships … right?
Do you think that ‘background checks’ should be more commonplace between couples who are dating and or those looking to marry or live with each other?
This depends on what you mean by background checks. New relationships are a journey of discovery, though in arranged marriages for instance, ‘backgrounds’ are usually done by the families, are they not? I wrote hundreds of letters to guys in the armed forces as a teenager and got a few (OK a lot) romantic notions, but I didn’t meet that many, and one I did turned out to be a right bar steward, dumping me on his friends because I wouldn’t go to bed with him.
Do you think love alone is enough to see people through everything?
Honestly? Not really, but it sure helps when you can talk through your problems together without aportioning blame or criticism and find a solution.
What are your views on people getting married/living together too young – are you in total favour of that or not?
At 21, I got married for all the wrong reasons in 1977, returned to the parental home after three years to lick my wounds and was divorced before my 4th wedding anniversary. I then lived with a guy for almost 8 years, so I wasn’t exactly young, but I learned a lot, especially about me. I think it depends on the couple concerned and I know of one couple who got married in their teens and are still together, and another who married young and divorced after two years.
What do you think about people not getting to know their partners well enough – is it something that should be looked at more closely whilst you live apart or something that can be worked on when you are under the same roof together?
It is said you don’t really know someone until you live with them. That’s true to a degree, but if you’ve had holidays together, you can get an inkling of what something more permanent is likely to be. IMO it’s give and take, respect and making allowances, and not expecting everything to be done the way it always was.
What are your views on couples who are teenage sweethearts and simply wish to get married and yet they have never sampled anything else of life, they have never had other partners and the list goes on … but they are willing to sacrifice their life for living with one person only believing they are the right person for them?
Another personal thing. Why shop around if you’re happy with the person you’re with? However, if you know of nothing else, you might feel you’re missing out as time progresses and you begin to see things differently and from a wider point of view. You have to be honest with yourself and each other, and although at the time you think you have everything you want and the person of your dreams, that can all change when you least expect it.
Finally, which is the best love ? The one we think is right or the love that finds you by chance or the love we source out with intention?
Hubby and I met through an ad in the paper. We were both coming out of bitter relationship and had a lot of baggage, plus we were as cynical as hell. Not for us the lovey dovey kissy kissy stuff. No sir. We wanted, and needed, friendship, company of the opposite sex to go out with, and not have to worry about any romantic involvement or expectations. Look at us now. Married almost 30 years, and still best friends. We still don;t know when the slushy stuff crept up on us, but quite honestly, we don’t care and are just glad it did.