It’s the 16th December today, a full calendar month since we lost Maggie.
The pain is still raw, we still expect to see a little nose poke its way through the kitchen doorway each time we open the fridge, and we have to stop ourselves leaving titbits on our plate that she would enjoy.
I cried again today, wishing she was still with us, but knowing she was in a better place, that we had put her first, as we always did.
Hubby and I talk about her, and this morning was no exception. He misses her too.
Both of us had seen the decline over recent weeks. Some days she was as bright as a button, others slow, sluggish, stiff and obviously in pain. Those days were becoming more frequent, and we were giving her the anti inflammatory meds every day as a matter of course, but the dosage was increased some days.
This past year had taken its toll, and with other things we’d noticed, it would have been selfish for us to delay the inevitable. It doesn’t make it easier, but that last time, she didn’t struggle as she usually did, we were holding her, loving her, and she was ready to go.
Many of my readers have had to face the same decision this year. They know where we are, what we are feeling, and the sense of loss, the same as I did for them.
I write as it helps with the grieving process, especially as she was such an important part of our lives. It is like losing our child.
Maggie was 15 years and 10 months old. Hubby and I had been together 31 years 6 months at the time of her passing, 190 months (less 7 weeks) out of 378 months that she had been ours.
The canvas picture of our girl.
Why must you always make me sob 😦 …lovely, still
I am too.
Our dog was almost 15 when we had to take the same steps you did. Like you, my wife and I are still having trouble accepting the fact that she is no longer with us and our eyes cloud over when we think of her. But the photos we have and the memories of her when she was not in pain and struggling help us get through our own pain from the loss we feel.
I know Fandango. I took the canvas picture in 2019 when Maggie had turned 14. The difference in that photo and one taken just a few months ago shows her decline, yet she always rallied, as if to please us. It hurts, and goes on hurting, so I know how you and your wife are feeling. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts are with you too for your loss.
Many think it silly to grieve for a pet but they just don’t understand the depth of love and affection given and received. My heart goes out to you. Take your time to grieve and cry as many tears as you need to cry. We understand.
Thanks Val. I’ve worked with someone who had never had a pet and couldn’t understand when we lost Barney, who would have been 10 in the June. We were blessed to have Maggie for so long, but she has her own place in our hearts and always will be with us.
You did right by her. And your tears are a healing balm. I would worry if you didn’t cry. Let her rest gently near your heart and in your memory. Mine do.
Thanks Pam. We always put her first, and she’s everywhere in my blog.
It’s so hard to lose your best friend 💜💜💜💜💜
I feel your pain my friend. But you’re right that she is in a better place now. And she gave you lots of happy memories.
It doesn’t matter how long ago the loss was. Our pets are family. I see your beloved Maggie, and I cry for you as well as for myself and the loss of my fur babies.
Thank you Lauren. We lost Barney in 2005 and that still hurts too, as does the loss of Kizzy and all the family dogs. Maggie was the oldest dog I’ve ever owned in my adult life, and she was a part of our lives for half the time we were a couple.
Hubby made up my gravatar photo of Maggie holding a pen in her mouth, and that will never change on my blog.
That is a wonderful reminder of her too short tie with you.
We were lucky she was ours for almost 16 years.
I know it was a long time for a dog. It is just never enough time in our people years.
I know exactly what you mean. I have no idea where those last few years went, suddenly she looked so old and tired. We love them when they’re with us, and miss them so much when they’re not. ❤
I agree. It is never long enough.
its so heartbreaking Di! What a horrible loss. I know the grief is still raw. My boy is getting on now too, at 10, I hate knowing he’s getting older. xoxo
We love them to pieces don’t we.
crying into my coffee… ❤
oh Sue, I’m so sorry……… you have so much else on your plate. ❤
I cry a lot… nothing to do with the current plate, I just do 🙂 x
It takes time. Each month you mark the time. It doesn’t seem to get easier but it does in the end. Hugs to you both.
Thanks Kate. We’re getting there. ❤