It’s the 16th December today, a full calendar month since we lost Maggie.
The pain is still raw, we still expect to see a little nose poke its way through the kitchen doorway each time we open the fridge, and we have to stop ourselves leaving titbits on our plate that she would enjoy.
I cried again today, wishing she was still with us, but knowing she was in a better place, that we had put her first, as we always did.
Hubby and I talk about her, and this morning was no exception. He misses her too.
Both of us had seen the decline over recent weeks. Some days she was as bright as a button, others slow, sluggish, stiff and obviously in pain. Those days were becoming more frequent, and we were giving her the anti inflammatory meds every day as a matter of course, but the dosage was increased some days.
This past year had taken its toll, and with other things we’d noticed, it would have been selfish for us to delay the inevitable. It doesn’t make it easier, but that last time, she didn’t struggle as she usually did, we were holding her, loving her, and she was ready to go.
Many of my readers have had to face the same decision this year. They know where we are, what we are feeling, and the sense of loss, the same as I did for them.
I write as it helps with the grieving process, especially as she was such an important part of our lives. It is like losing our child.
Maggie was 15 years and 10 months old. Hubby and I had been together 31 years 6 months at the time of her passing, 190 months (less 7 weeks) out of 378 months that she had been ours.
The canvas picture of our girl.