One month on……….

It’s the 16th December today, a full calendar month since we lost Maggie.
The pain is still raw, we still expect to see a little nose poke its way through the kitchen doorway each time we open the fridge, and we have to stop ourselves leaving titbits on our plate that she would enjoy.

I cried again today, wishing she was still with us, but knowing she was in a better place, that we had put her first, as we always did.
Hubby and I talk about her, and this morning was no exception. He misses her too.

Both of us had seen the decline over recent weeks. Some days she was as bright as a button, others slow, sluggish, stiff and obviously in pain. Those days were becoming more frequent, and we were giving her the anti inflammatory meds every day as a matter of course, but the dosage was increased some days.
This past year had taken its toll, and with other things we’d noticed, it would have been selfish for us to delay the inevitable. It doesn’t make it easier, but that last time, she didn’t struggle as she usually did, we were holding her, loving her, and she was ready to go.
Many of my readers have had to face the same decision this year. They know where we are, what we are feeling, and the sense of loss, the same as I did for them.

I write as it helps with the grieving process, especially as she was such an important part of our lives. It is like losing our child.
Maggie was 15 years and 10 months old. Hubby and I had been together 31 years 6 months at the time of her passing, 190 months (less 7 weeks) out of 378 months that she had been ours.
The canvas picture of our girl.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have recently lost our beloved dog Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney, and now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of my GSD so had hers done too. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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29 Responses to One month on……….

  1. Why must you always make me sob 😦 …lovely, still

  2. Fandango says:

    Our dog was almost 15 when we had to take the same steps you did. Like you, my wife and I are still having trouble accepting the fact that she is no longer with us and our eyes cloud over when we think of her. But the photos we have and the memories of her when she was not in pain and struggling help us get through our own pain from the loss we feel.

    • I know Fandango. I took the canvas picture in 2019 when Maggie had turned 14. The difference in that photo and one taken just a few months ago shows her decline, yet she always rallied, as if to please us. It hurts, and goes on hurting, so I know how you and your wife are feeling. Thank you for sharing. My thoughts are with you too for your loss.

  3. murisopsis says:

    Many think it silly to grieve for a pet but they just don’t understand the depth of love and affection given and received. My heart goes out to you. Take your time to grieve and cry as many tears as you need to cry. We understand.

    • Thanks Val. I’ve worked with someone who had never had a pet and couldn’t understand when we lost Barney, who would have been 10 in the June. We were blessed to have Maggie for so long, but she has her own place in our hearts and always will be with us.

  4. quiall says:

    You did right by her. And your tears are a healing balm. I would worry if you didn’t cry. Let her rest gently near your heart and in your memory. Mine do.

  5. willowdot21 says:

    It’s so hard to lose your best friend πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

  6. Sadje says:

    I feel your pain my friend. But you’re right that she is in a better place now. And she gave you lots of happy memories.

  7. It doesn’t matter how long ago the loss was. Our pets are family. I see your beloved Maggie, and I cry for you as well as for myself and the loss of my fur babies.

  8. Carol anne says:

    its so heartbreaking Di! What a horrible loss. I know the grief is still raw. My boy is getting on now too, at 10, I hate knowing he’s getting older. xoxo

  9. Sue Vincent says:

    crying into my coffee… ❀

  10. It takes time. Each month you mark the time. It doesn’t seem to get easier but it does in the end. Hugs to you both.

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