Speak up or keep quiet?

Fandango’s question this week is as follows:

When it comes to your friends, your spouse, your significant other, or members of your family, is it better to confront them about things they say or do that bother or upset you or is it better to try to ignore those things in order to maintain peace in your relationship?

We had a friend who, due to a misunderstanding, stewed over a comment to such an extent that he returned everything we’d given him as gifts and avoided us on every occasion, even to the point of turning his car round to walk his dog elsewhere rather than park beside us and risk having to say ‘hello’. It was the end of a friendship of more than five years.

I hate confrontation though sometimes appreciate it cannot be avoided. For years, it would be anything for a peaceful life and I’d let things ride, no matter how much it hurt. That came to bite me in the backside as I was treated like a doormat, anything could go or be said as it was assumed I wouldn’t mind or react.
Having discovered some untruths told about me to people who didn’t know me very well, or even know me at all,ย  I put them right in no uncertain terms when the opportunity arose, much to their surprise. Naturally this led to friction elsewhere and that was when my evergreen olive tree with all its branches wilted and died.

Never go to sleep on an argument was something my parents firmly believed in.
Hubby and I may have differences in opinion and sometimes things sound OK in the brain but come out all wrong when exiting the mouth, but we end each day telling the other we love them, and start the new day saying the same.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have recently lost our beloved dog Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney, and now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of my GSD so had hers done too. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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15 Responses to Speak up or keep quiet?

  1. “Sometimes things sound OK in the brain but come out all wrong when exiting the mouth” …has a truer statement been uttered?! Great post!! But, sorry you’re going through that ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  2. Excellent, l am experiencing a dilemma now – the two sides of my brain Aspie brain and Neuro Brain are struggling with a conflict. I have raised my opinion and concerns over it from the Neuro brain and my logical input from the Aspie brain, but the Aspie brain which is a very strong moralist is extremely pissed off with the results so l now must try and fins a resolution to calm the situation down or make a very bold move to basically stand up for what is right.

  3. willowdot21 says:

    Excellent advice which I adhere to as well๐Ÿ’œ

  4. Sadje says:

    Thatโ€™s a great philosophy to live by

  5. murisopsis says:

    I like to think that if there is a misunderstanding that I’d be able to discuss it with my family. Granted there are some things we agree to disagree about – like politics. But for the most part I’m comfortable with letting my family know when they’ve hurt my feelings or got something wrong…

    • My attempts with the olive branch ended up with me being hit with it and I have no idea what I’ve done, or perhaps didn’t do. Growing up I got good at covering my hurt feelings, but when I finally let rip, nobody knew what hit them. Not any more. Hubby and I each know when there is something on the other’s mind, but we equally know that when we have it straight in our heads, we will talk about it. We have differences, but rarely argue, though Lethal Weapon 3 will always be a reminder of the time we did, and big time!!

  6. Leswin says:

    “Never go to sleep on an argument was something my parents firmly believed in.”
    That reminds me so much of a family member. Although she and her husband had known each other for many years prior to getting wed, once they were married they used to row constantly. However, not being that well off, they had bought a cheap bed for their new home. Whenever they got in it, the mattress threw them both into the centre of the bed, so they could never got to sleep on an argument. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Good story. We had a very small tent for our camping trips when we first got together, so we had to be friends when we went to bed at night as there was no room for anything else!

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