I read this sad Valentine post today which sent me back to my childhood.
I was what you would call a ‘late starter’.
I might have had my fanciful dreams of a few ‘good looking’ guys in my junior class, but it never came to anything, not that I would expect it to. I just didn’t seem to be ‘into boys’ as most of the giggling girls in my year. Most times I would actually cross the road rather than walk on the same side as them.
Valentine’s Day meant nothing to me though I did send a lovely card to my Mum one year just to tell her I loved her and signed it in my best handwriting. I didn’t understand it was supposed to be ‘secret’ and for another reason, I just wanted my Mum to know.
Luckily, we didn’t do Valentine’s satchels or post boxes at school like the author of the above post, so I didn’t have to sit and watch the others getting cards and perhaps little teddy bears or chocolates from secret admirers.
Sis was another matter.
Always popular and with a boyfriend, she’d get cards every year, some of them so big they’d didn’t come in the mail.
The thought of a boyfriend made me nervous in my younger days. I was extremely naive, and read a lot of silly romantic magazines. Add to that Sis and beau were nearly always joined at the lips as if they had nothing better to do in front of me, and basically I didn’t want to know. Real Life Stories are very similar in mags today and any I started to read rarely got beyond the first or second paragraph. Besides, I’d rather lose my head in a puzzle book.
Not receiving Valentines also meant I didn’t send any. Afraid of rejection perhaps? But then if they didn’t know it was me, I was safe, right? I was tempted once when I was in my mid teens but I didn’t know his address and there was no way I was going up to him and handing one over. He started dating a classmate though and she left nothing to the imagination.
But one year, I got a Valentine’s Card in the mail. I would have been about 10 because I hadn’t gone up to Grammar School yet but we had moved out of the council house.
It had a Thomas the Tank Engine on it and I had no idea who it was from. I think now it was either my Mum or Dad, or maybe Bro so that I didn’t feel left out when Sis seemed to be getting cards by the truck load. If it was, don’t tell me as it made me feel very special at a time when I felt inadequate and insecure.
I don’t feel either now.
Hubby will buy me flowers simply because he thinks I might like some. We don’t need a special day to remind us to say ‘I love you’, we say it to each other every day at least twice.
He did buy me a dozen red roses on Thursday because he saw them. Nice.