Two Years On : 2018 – 2020

It’s two years ago today that my Mum passed away.
That text message will be forever etched in my mind as I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach and splash on the floor.
I was glad I’d been able to speak to her and tell her I loved her a few days before and also that she had received my most recent letter telling her the same.

I remember so many things,  like when Humphrey turned up and I wanted to protect her from knowing I had cancer. I told her about my op though, even showing her my scar when she guessed what it was all about.
It was funny how she came to me in a dream when Dick was being flushed out, telling me that everything would be OK and not to worry. That was before knowing I would be having a mastectomy, but everything has turned out alright, just as she said.

There are reminders of Mum every day, from swans on the drainage ditches to rabbits in the fields, and of course there will always be the doughnut machine. Whenever I see one, I see Mum standing by the window in the cottage watching in fascination and feel the tears threaten, but they are happy tears as is the memory.

I don’t know where the past two years have gone. It seems longer and yet so recent. I look in the mirror and there she is looking right back at me.

I found this quote last year, which is very apt as January 18th is Winnie the Pooh Day.
I’m not sure how Mum felt about Pooh, but I remember Hubby and I making her a Teddy Bear in one of the souvenir shops on our travels and we presented it to her complete with ‘Chloe’s’ official adoption certificate for her birthday.

I know you and Dad are watching over us Mum and we are doing OK.
I miss you both so much and will light a candle for you today, making the hearts swirl.
Wherever you are, your smiles are eternal and warm my heart more than any sunshine.



About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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23 Responses to Two Years On : 2018 – 2020

  1. Sadje says:

    Such a beautiful post Di! How we miss our parents.

  2. Thankyou for this beautiful share. “Wherever you are, your smiles are eternal and warm my heart more than any sunshine…”, 🌻🌼🌷⚘🌹. I know I’m a total stranger but we connect with shared losses… life is so beautiful that way. Gratitude.

  3. That’s the most perfect quote. I’m sure they are looking down and smiling on you. I settled on my own type of daily candle. I make sure everyday I take a few minutes to just remember. Remember a few really nice memories from each of the loved one I’ve lost.

  4. anita dawes says:

    eternally lovely memories, Di…

  5. It’s strange- I argued with my mother for years and we hardly ever saw eye to eye, but she’s been gone 3 years nearly and I miss her more than I ever thought I would. It just goes to show we must make the most of time spent with our loved ones before it’s too late.

    • You are so right. We never know what’s round the corner. I wish we’d been able to visit more often, but distance and health issues played a major factor. It made those visits more precious though and I have some lovely memories of taking Mum out.

  6. fransiweinstein says:

    I love the photo of you and your mom. You can really feel the joy and the love between you.

  7. Biggest hugs!! Beautiful quote and picture.

  8. A beautiful tribute to your mother, Di.

  9. My dad passed last August and I am just now experiencing the loss you have felt the past couple of years. Grace and peace my friend.

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