Friday Fictioneers 1st November

Over to Rochelle for her weekly Friday Fictioneers challenge

This week our picture is provided by Fatima Fakier Deria
The house was immaculate. As always.
Everything neat and tidy as a pin.
New plastic lunch containers and a glass were stacked on the table.
Unusual, as was her file with all the household budgets lying open.
As he picked the glass up, turning it in his fingers, the letter caught his eye.
Just a single word on the envelope. His name.
He laughed bitterly into the stillness.
Looked like he’d be getting his own lunches, meals, and whatever in future.

81 words

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have an elderly dog called Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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55 Responses to Friday Fictioneers 1st November

  1. neilmacdon says:

    He’s admirably philosophical about it

  2. Iain Kelly says:

    Nice of her to leave the place tidy, I’m not sure he deserved that!

  3. Sadje says:

    Great take on the Prompt.

  4. Seems like he will, eh?
    I guess we sort of went the same way … in a way … 😉
    https://naamayehuda.com/2019/10/30/empty-promises/
    Na’ama

  5. Ooh… Clever twist. Very nice, indeed. 😉

  6. Dale says:

    This was great, Di.
    My mother watched as a neighbour emptied the house, of everything. When Tom came ringing the doorbell he was dejected. She didn’t even leave the welcome mat…

    • Ah. When I Ieft, he went up to the pub for sympathy and all they said was ‘We know’ and left him to it.

      • Dale says:

        Oh boy! Guess he had it coming…

      • Long story, but it would have been a shock coming home and me not being there. First thing ex wife said was ho was going to loo after the kids, so it gives you an idea of all I was seen as. No regrets though, and the eldest boy looked me up and didn’t seem to hold it against me.

      • Dale says:

        So you became his second ex-wife? And it’s his son who looked you up? Pretty cool, I say…

      • No, we lived together for 8 years and I brought up his two boys who were 3 and 5 when I moved in (not my fault they divorced by the way).

      • Dale says:

        Oh, I never assumed it was. I lived. Similar situation. Boyfriend’s son was 3 when I came into the picture, left when he was 8. It was a going nowhere relationship and I was 26 by the time I had had enough.

      • I was almost 33 when I got out. Should have left after a few months, not 8 years, but I cared about the kids and he played on that to some extent. We had some good times though, and of course my fostering experience came out of it and that was so rewarding.

      • Dale says:

        It took me three years to accumulate stuff (because no way in hell was I moving back into my parents’…) so I should have left after two years. However, he would pour on the charm and I’d fall for it. I was only 21 when I moved in with him (and he was my gym teacher in high school 😉 so there was a sort of fairy tale aspect to it – at first).
        We learn and grow through our experiences, don’t you think, Di?

      • Oh yeah. I was a gullible fool for a reason.
        I appreciate everything I have now

      • Dale says:

        Let us change the word fool for optimist..
        And yes, the important thing is to appreciate one’s learnings, even if they come with bumps and bruises…

      • Life is a learning curve with humps and bumps along the way. 🙂

  7. Oh dear – but isn’t he jumping the gun? Maybe the note in the envelope said something else.

    Susan A Eames at
    Travel, Fiction and Photos

  8. Nobbinmaug says:

    I’m gathering from the comments this is a true story. I’m going to guess the house wasn’t immaculate for long. In a situation like that, I always feel bad for the kids. I hope you got to have some contact with them after.

    • It was hard on the kids even though they weren’t mine. The eldest boy looked me up so I think he understood, but then he always did. He’s a dad in his own right now I believe.

  9. bearmkwa says:

    Awesome way to leave. Can’t say I haven’t thought of doing the same from time to time, and probably would have if I could have found work to support myself. As no one will hire me, I’m moreorless stuck.

  10. granonine says:

    Doesn’t sound as if he’s exactly heartbroken 🙂

  11. Avia Tinder says:

    I left with everything but my clothes and books.

  12. Practical man, he doesn’t sound over concerned, perhaps it was for the best.

  13. ceayr says:

    A neat snapshot of a lot of lives

  14. Sounds like he’ll be having a clean start, literally.

  15. Abhijit Ray says:

    So she refused to cook for him! Did he accuse her of stealing from household budget?

  16. draliman says:

    At least she left everything sorted for him, gave him a bit of a head start 🙂

  17. James McEwan says:

    I like how she left leaving the place clean and tidy. The tone of the writing captures the moment and the feeling of disbelief.

  18. Somehow it seems as he was half expecting it all along.

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