This week Michael asks us to think about the word ‘sorry’ and what it means to us.
It comes in handy in so many scenarios.
There’s nothing worse than someone saying sorry and you know they don’t mean it.
I’ve had that happen on several occasions, a remorse that is short lived and one in particular that was so insincere, it made a politician look like a saint.
We bump into a stranger in the street or supermarket and say ‘sorry’, but should someone bump into us, do they similarly respond? The cynic in me says how do we know they haven’t picked our pocket, a chancer taking advantage in a busy crowd of a harrassed or distracted ‘mark’.
Is being sorry the same as regret? I have few regrets in my life, but am sorry for a multitude of things. Most were beyond my control, though as is always the case, I try to do the best with the Cards of Life dealt to me.
Am I sorry I didn’t have kids? In a way yes, but for me, it was not meant to be. Although I catch myself wondering about what might have been, the way things are, I’m not complaining.
I was sorry my first marriage didn’t work out, but it soon became obvious we were a bad match and it would have been cruel and pointless to carry on as it would only lead to pain and resentment. The process of divorce was bad enough, but it was for the best.
We seem to say sorry most in relationships, apologising for things going wrong or not working out, burnt meals, wrong choice of gift, car or home.
Being sorry for not being what your partner expects you to be is their failing not yours, though it has a detrimental effect on an individual. I’ve been on the receiving end of that with dire results, but rose above it and was not sorry in the least to come out of the relationship.
We say we are sorry when someone has lost a beloved partner, parent, friend or pet. This is heartfelt, even if we did not actually know the individual concerned, yet the sorrow is genuine as we wish to offer our support and compassion.
We read about estranged siblings, parents, couples, which is a sorry state of affairs, though there is nothing we can do to improve and reconcile the situation.
It is an old joke that husbands say they are sorry for upsetting their spouse by bringing them flowers, though I was once asked what my first thought would be should Hubby present me with some for no reason at all. My colleagues all said theirs would have been guilty of something or other, but my response was that I’d be pleased because he buys them purely because he thought I’d like them.
If we’ve had a rare falling out, neither of us has to say sorry, as the other just knows.