It’s been hot, muggy and somewhat stifling today.
Hubby was out just before 9am cutting the grass before it got too hot and unbearable, then after showers we put the washing on.
It was dry by midday.
In truth, we haven’t done much today.
Our neighbour had a little mishap with the catch on her gate which Hubby sorted out for her, and we were invited round this afternoon for a cup of tea. As it turned out, after lunch she had visitors from other neighbours, so I went round just after 5pm to say I hadn’t forgotten but didn’t want to intrude.
She was getting herself something to eat, so I made my excuses, but she invited me in to ‘supervise’ as her husband used to do all the cooking, and she wanted some company.
She had a wok on the hob which contained some chopped up sausages, leeks, and mushrooms, and she threw in some halved cherry tomatoes and a handful of frozen peas.
It looked really nice, so guess what I might be doing one day next week as a stir fry (but will substitute something else for the sausages)?
Over a cup of tea and her dinner, we chatted about families, our Mums, jobs, babies and naturally her husband. She showed me some photographs and he was a good looking guy in his youth. He wasn’t a paper bag job in his 60s either but it seemed odd seeing him with more hair and a moustache, though I could pick him out easily enough.
Her lounge is awash with sympathy cards, and she has another visitor now as I type.
I came back feeling as if I’d accomplished something, and Hubby commented at the change in me from past days. I know he’s been worried about me as I tend to shut in on myself sometimes, but he knows I will talk about what’s on my mind eventually.
I found out a little bit more about the funeral as I was a little concerned about dress code and flowers, but there is none, and donations will be gratefully received for the local RNLI.
Family are coming over from Australia, as are many here from all over the UK.
She has again asked us to go, especially as we were with them both when he passed away.
There is still a lot to arrange, but she is making lists and ticking things off.
She is doing remarkably well. Having so much to do is probably good for her, as is having you and your hubby close by.
So many people in this road have been on hand. It makes me glad to be a part of such a caring community.
You’re very lucky. Caring and kindness are in short supply these days.
They are Fransi. So many people are wrapped up in themselves they haven’t time or the inclination to make time for anyone else. We are all in our 60s, 70s and 80s here, which I think accounts for it.
Yes, I agree with you. We were brought up very differently.
I am enjoying this story, and wonder where it will take us, if there is to be more.
Hi Ann. Just our day to day routine, and helping our neighbour with her loss.
Words on paper . . . A nice way to bring peace for all.
That is nice, your spending time with her. A good thing for the both of you.
She said she wanted some company.
She must be feeling alone!
She says it’s surreal, and she can’t believe it. She had her son come and stay for a few days which helped as she had to prepare the house for young kids. They went home yesterday so she’s been tidying up and washing sheets etc. She’s keeping busy, but when she’s not, it hits her, and hard.
It is a big adjustment for her. Keeping busy can help.
What a day Di. Very emotional. I don’t know what to say. So sad but she seems to be coping. I think it is after the funeral that people iften feel it mire. Hut I know you will be there for her. Xx
Yes we will Lorraine. She says once the funeral is over she will be able to plan and be more independent. We have said that any little jobs that crop up Hubby will sort them out rather than leave them until they become big jobs and thus more expensive. I shall offer to take her shopping rather than her struggle on the bus, but obviously we don’t want to be in her face or overstay our welcome. She said today that she was glad we lived next door.
Dud you know her very well befire this happened Di. Our neighbours round her hardly talk to each other at all. Totally different atmosohere.
Not at all. We didn’t know anyone when we moved here in September 2017. The neighbours introduced themselves and we invited them in for a cup of tea occasionally, but what we liked was that everyone was friendly, but respected your privacy and not always knocking on your door. They gave us some plants for the back garden, most of which have taken off now, and were always chatty should we see them if we were going out. We’d heard him laughing over the fence the day before, and the day before that we were having a joke on the front drive about something or other. He always made me smile. He was that kind of guy. We are lucky with all of our neighbours here.
That sounds to be a really nice balance Di. Our neighbours don’t even say hello. And never talkat all. It feels very isolating. Bad area really.m
It is as it is
I know what you mean. When we lived in the flat we hardly spoke to anyone around us. We had a park down the road, not as nice as the one here mind as there was no lake or water fowl, but people never used to say Hi or anything. It’s totally different here.
I wish we could move. The friend,iest place we ever lived was Waltham Abbey on the outskurts of London when hubby worked in London. They were LOVELY there. Here, they won’t do a THING to help ANYBODY. It’s quite frightening actualky, for if anything were to happen to Bob (hubby) I would have NOWHERE to turn!
That’s a frightening situation to be in Lorraine. Do you have panic buttons installed in your home?
No becayse you have to have someone to link them through to, like a family member or friend. So nothing we can do about that. I guess I would have to ring our gardener and if he was available he mught come. It will work out I guess.
My MIL had one but never wore it, leaving it in the fruit bowl on the window cill. She had a fall and wasn’t found for two days, ending up in hospital and then placed in a home.
Our friend who we stayed with after selling the boat has one, and her sister and a close friend are named as contacts. In your circumstances, there might be a way to link to the medical services, so maybe Bob could make enquiries? Just a thought.
We could see if that is possible, but when they came here from Sicial Servuces they said we had to have a family member or friend. We asked our priest, but he said he couldn’t do it and knew of no one in the congregation that would. This is why I feel so bad about my brother. He doesn’t live far away. There is hus son and wife too, but none of them want anything to dowith us, i think things vary fron Cluncil to Council. The same goes for getting help. My friend Sarah who has MS has carers 24/7 andbthe Council which is West Lindsey, not ours, pays a great deal towards it. She has two carers always there 24/7. We asked fira personal assistant for some hoyrs dyring the week but we could only get two hoyrs to take me shopping for foid that hubby cannot cook. They refused to guve him an hour each evening to help him with the evening meal. Hus hands are bad and he can’t chop and also he drops things, it is madness! You have to pay a lot towards it yourselves anyway but they just woukd not offer the help we needed. We tried pruvately, but all the caring companies are overworked and have no spare staff for us. It is just ridiculous. There is no one to sit with me while my husband goes for doctors appointments one of which he has tomorrow, or hospital appointments. We struggle along though. It has been all in the newspapers etc that people cannot any linger get help/carers because if the shortage of staff. This country is in a terrible mess. They should be sorting this out instead of damned Brexit!
It is indeed a mess Lorraine, and getting worse as people like yourselves are not getting the help they genuinely need. This might sound off the wall, but have you thought of the Salvation Army?
I read this post and thought, this is in character for the Di I know from the words she writes.
Thank you so much Michael. Your kind words mean a lot to me. 🙂
Good to hear your neighbour is hanging in there and so kind of your to offer continued support.