Friendships and relationships

I’ve read a few posts recently about friends and relationships.
What classes as a best friend? Is it someone you’ve known practically all your life, or someone who entered it at a particular moment and has stuck with you through thick and thin?
Years ago, people we once classed as friends dropped us like hot potatoes when we were no longer at their convenience and we introduced a new word into their vocabulary meaning they couldn’t have their own way.
Any rose tinge we may have had to our view of life was cast aside, and we became very cynical. If someone was nice to us, we assumed there was an ulterior motive, and the result is we know a lot of people but have few friends. We’re sociable and chatty with everyone, but keep our distance until we get to know them better.

Have you ever thought about the word ‘friend’ though?
It’s used pretty loosely now when talking about people we know, whereas before it would relate to someone who never let you down and was always in your corner, especially when the chips were down.
Those people are the jewels of life, precious in their own right, and don’t need to be big and shiny in a box of polished stones.

There are some people that have a genuine warmth about them that you can’t help but respond to. We met several like that when we were on the boat and are still in touch with a lot of them. In the boating community, it didn’t matter what our background was, how big a car we drove, or how much money we had in the bank….. we all had one thing in common, and that was we owned a boat.
We were also lucky to meet up with non-boat owners who have also shown their support for us in spades.
But sometimes we need to be a little quirky:
That’ll be Hubby. He’s my best friend, my rock, and knows me better than anyone as he’s the only one I’ve let get that close.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have recently lost our beloved dog Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney, and now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of my GSD so had hers done too. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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30 Responses to Friendships and relationships

  1. Sadje says:

    True friendship is as rare as it is valuable.

  2. I have always had a big huge problem with the concept of friendships. being on the spectrum with my Asperger’s always means that l am at most quite weary of people – don’t misinterpret that, l am very approachable, friendly and amicable, but true friendships need a lot of work – there needs to be the right ingredients for a true friendship.

    You don’t need to be bang on top of the person next door to have a good quality friendship, but you do need to have components as to why there is a friendship in the first place.

    Too many people with the arrival of the social platforms were quick to start hoarding people and pretending they were their true friends when all they were, was and is just people.

    I have a lot of friends, but l only have two really closet true friends and one of those is a dog as in Scrappy whilst the other is my partner Suze.

    Friendship on paper and as a concept is really easy to understand, but in the reality much harder to grasp. Being overly social is just overrated in my books and being great buddies and good friends with everyone you meet is dangerous – as said l have friends, good friends, colleagues and acquaintences, but there is a profound difference between each and all.

    • Excellent response Rory. We’re not on any social media other than WP and don’t want to be. I agree so much with your ‘being great buddies and good friends with everyone is dangerous’ . We too have acquaintances, but work colleagues are no more though I do have the darts team and true friends are a WIP as we knew nobody here, but saying that, everyone is extremely pleasant and we fit in.

      • Totally – when l was younger my mother gave me some truly good advice “Rory as you travel through life you will meet lots of people, some will become work colleagues in your careers, others will merely be acquaintences and casual friends that you happen to see and met now and then, then you will have friends, you share something in common, good friends are those that you feel closer to and a sense of companionship – but true friends, well don’t be surprised if you only have a handful and literally it might be just that and don’t ever be surprised if you don’t use up all of that hands finger and thumb!”

        Now Di, as l have said l have Suze and Scrappy as my ‘true friends’ l have always regarded my dogs as some of my closest companions, l don’t really have any ‘good friends’ l have quite a lot of ‘friends’ be these mostly WP, like you l don’t tend to have any work colleagues any more, bar the ex clients list which are now mostly acquaintences. I don’t have Twitter any more as that was just way too shallow and false, l have a FB but literally only use the chat system if speaking to Suze at work, and my pesky sister. Ha ha, l have a mobile phone but only have 2/3 people call me on that and one is Suze , the other my Mother and the final that pesky sister again. That’s it.

        I don’t particularly like using too many platforms with reference to social, so my main platform is WP – because it makes friendships easier, more manageable and easier to control and l am totally fine with that ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Nice. Glad you have the same kind of closeness with Suze that Hubby and I have. I’ve always said I tend to get on better with dogs than people. Maggie is loving and loyal, and although she can be a pain sometimes, she seems to know when I need some fuss myself.
        Hubby only gets calls on his mobile from me and mine has caller ID. Our landline is known to just two people, and one of those is Bro in NZ. My OB and sister rarely contact me at all, and I’m fine with that.

      • Yes, very similiar to landline here – as l have said before – l am more social here, than any where else in the world which is kind of an irony in itself as this platform is worldwide ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Reblogged this on A Guy Called Bloke and K9 Doodlepip! and commented:
    Define and describe good friendship in your eyes?

  4. Paula Light says:

    Agree with Rory. I donโ€™t really feel I have super close best friends I can tell anything to. And I donโ€™t have a life partner either. So I just muddle through, which is fine.

  5. Stephanie says:

    Since losing my husband–my best friend since I was a teenager–I’ve noticed that it’s been very difficult to make new friends. Thankfully, the friends I’ve had have stuck with me through all of the turmoil. I’ve recently come to think I’m afraid of making close new friends because I’m afraid of losing them, notwithstanding the “better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” thought, which I never hesitated to believe as to my marriage no matter how hard the grieving. I wonder if I won’t really be able to have a full life until I can make friends without fear again.

    • I am truly sorry for your loss Stephanie as Jim was so young when he passed away.
      I’ve been an admirer of your photography since I first started my blog over five years ago. It’s been nice to see you posting again recently.
      I can understand your reservations though.

  6. scifihammy says:

    I think people today tend to call an acquaintance a friend – look at all the “friends” they have on fb etc
    I only have a few friends, but they are true. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. joyroses13 says:

    Friends are priceless for sure! Love your quotes. The one quote is so true about how it isn’t alwsys about who you have known the longest. Sometimes you meet someone and you end up feeling like you been friends for so long because of the way you just click. And yes most importantly it’s the friends who stay with you through the sunshine and the rain!!

  8. Zeeshan Amin says:

    The second caption says it all. A true friend is always by your side.

  9. Is true that true friendship is rare, but youโ€™ve also got to make yourself a good, attractive and admirable too – admiration and respect works both ways.

  10. I have met many who seem like they know everyone and thereโ€™s me. I reach out to people who are lonely like me and are looking for friendship. I have three friends I can call my best friends. The relationships I have had were best friends first before intimacy, but after a break up I find it hard to stay friends. Should a former relationship, stop a friendship?

    • I think it depends on the individuals. Hubby and I were friends first. The slushy bit crept up on us and we’ve been together 30 years, married for 28.
      I know a lot of people and get on with most. I see everyone as a potential friend, though sometimes it doesn’t work out like that.

    • Just seen your follow!! Hello and welcome to pensitivity101!

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