This week, Rachel has given us this opening for our story:
‘I thought we agreed no more secrets?’
‘It was meant to be a surprise.’
He paced the room, getting angrier by the minute.
‘Well it certainly is that!’
‘ Their intentions were good.’
He stopped pacing and glared at her.
‘Their intentions were good?‘ he mimicked. ‘It’s a joke! I’ll be the laughing stock of the street!’
‘I quite like it actually,’ she said quietly.
‘Well, you would. The little darlings can do no wrong in your eyes, but why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I promised. They really thought you’d like it. Somewhere for you to relax and unwind.’
‘Relax and unwind?!’ he shouted. ‘How the hell can I do that with th…..tha…. that monstrosity looking at me!’
‘Don’t you like any of it?’ she asked.
He sighed heavily.
‘I love my garden. I enjoy to potter, pot and ponder. I had my Man Cave and my greenhouse. I could relax and unwind in my own way. Now I have crazy paving where the petunias used to be, decking obliterating my veg patch, a hammock between the apple trees and some hideous ogre pissing in a damn goldfish pond I didn’t want!’
With tears in her eyes she laughed up at him….
‘That ‘ogre’ as you put it is meant to be you. They had it specially commissioned from a photograph.’
He stared at her in disbelief.
I bet Alan Titchmarsh or that other chap has been there – we were just talking about this the other day. I would not want to come home and find someone had transformed my garden or house and even worse if there was a statue; that was a wonderful finishing touch!
Glad you liked it!
Oh God, Di. That really did make me laygh. It is SO good. It brought back a feally funny memory. I won’t tell you it here. I will save it and write ut on my Blog simetime. Watch out for the Furniture Remover lol.
I shall indeed Lorraine.
This is so well written. Fantastic.
My pleasure 😊
Doing a widdle to add insult to injury! She doesn’t know him very well or she would have restrained her little darlings, no doubt.