Here we have the drum roll of all drum rolls as our True Love gives her the whole whammy of 78 gifts today.
Yes, yes, I know the song goes “On the ‘Whatever’ Day of Christmas my true love gave to me”, but you get the gist!
Twelve drummers have joined our happy band and with all the rest over the preceding 11 days, there are a total of 364 gifts, one for every day of the year except Christmas Day (well everyone’s entitled to a day off).
Just in case you were wondering, she probably lives in a huge house with a large acreage to accommodate
12 partridges and pear trees
22 turtle doves
30 french hens
36 colly (calling/black) birds
40 gold rings
40 milk maids (and probably the cows being milked)
36 dancing ladies
30 leaping Lords
and don’t you just love the symmetry of it.
As for my drummer story, it involves a standing ovation for a support group to Whitney Houston at Earl’s Court in 1992, the year The Bodyguard with herself and Kevin Costner was released. The soundtrack was pretty damn good though I prefer Dolly Parton singing her own song I Will Always Love You which Ms Houston belted out OK but you never knew when she was exactly going to finish.
She was awful, singing the wrong song to the backing track and was condescending to the audience when she tried to have a tete-a-tete.
She went off stage for yet another costume change (on for ten minutes, off for twenty) so we were entertained by some other acts, one having the most amazing drummer ever. Everyone was enthralled, he was that good, and when he’d finished his session, we were all on our feet demanding an encore.
Her ladyship came back on, far from pleased as she had received nothing like this reception, and cocked up another number by miming out of sync (friends had theatre binoculars).
I was glad we hadn’t paid full price for our tickets as she was obviously having a bad day, but that drummer sure made up for it.