Missing Mum

I don’t know why, but I was missing my Mum something awful today.
It’s not a special day like an anniversary or birthday, but I woke up this morning feeling a  little sad and as the morning progressed, heavier in my heart to the point of threatened tears.

What compounded it was following a hay wagon on our field trip today which was loaded with round bales.
I can still see Mum standing in front of our lounge windows in the cottage with her hands clasped behind her back like a young school girl, fascinated by the goings on in the field opposite.
I asked her what she was looking at and she turned to me with the biggest smile and said
‘I’m watching the doughnut machine.’
Now I can’t see rolls of hay either in the field or on the back of wagons without thinking of her. It’s not an unhappy memory, just that I wish she was here to see it again and to give me that killer-watt smile.
We went into The Stump today and lit three tea-light candles in the little Chapel.
Maggie was pretty good and finally settled down so that we could sit there quietly for a few minutes with our thoughts. The flames were moving gently, so I guess Mum and the Dads were in conversation.
We brought Mum here on several occasions when she came for a holiday. I think Dad would have liked it, and Hubby says his Dad would have been looking for all the Stone Mason signs (equivalent of a signature today) as he loved old churches and their history.

We had a pot of tea and cake in the cafe inside and were able to appreciate the architecture and stained glass windows. For £5, you can climb the 200 steps which takes you up 145 feet and the view is spectacular. I didn’t have the camera today, but maybe next time.

As always, the surroundings have a calming effect and we came out feeling refreshed.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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18 Responses to Missing Mum

  1. fransiweinstein says:

    The same happens to me. You just never know what will trigger a memory and an emotional response to it.

  2. joyroses13 says:

    Hugs and love to you!
    “watching the doughnut machine!” Love that 🙂 Thanks for sharing and keep treasuring those special memories.
    Glad you were able to go and light candles in memory of your Mum and Dad and that it had a comforting effect on you. I hope that stays with you for the rest of the day!

  3. scifihammy says:

    It happens like this out of the blue, like you say, but does get easier. It’s nearly 11 years since my Mum died and this still happens to me too. Certain places or moments are particularly poignant.
    Sending hugs my dear.

  4. Pingback: Two Years On : 2018 – 2020 | pensitivity101

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