FOWC with Fandango — Below

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You never know what lies below the surface, be it the watery depths of the sea/lake/pond/river or the outward facade of a person’s character.

Still waters run deep, and they say beware the quiet one.
He/she may look calm and composed, but we can probably guess what their true feelings are as they smile resignedly at the idiot making a drunken pass when trying to impress. I suppose we all wear a mask at some time or another.
I know I did, and few people knew the real me, the one constantly shielding herself with an invisible brick wall.
With Hubby, it wasn’t a question of him knocking that wall down, but trusting him to let him close enough to try.

My Gravatar describes me as an onion, always another layer underneath, though I hasten to add I hope they don’t always make you cry!
This was not my analogy though, but one of a dear departed friend who was also a Taurean Monkey but 3 ‘cycles’ older, thus making him my senior by 36 years.
He was actually a shopkeeper, one I knew as a child, whose daughters I went to school with (though not friends or in my class) who later was a regular customer when I worked in the High Street Bank. When I moved away he became a personal friend and we corresponded for several years until his death in 1986.

I think a lot, and about a lot of things. Too much probably, with imagined scenarios and conversations, some of which used to keep me awake at night.
I learned a long time ago to cover my feelings if anyone hurt me by a random or even intended comment. I got the jokes in first, laughing at myself as it was the only way I could ward off humiliation and depression, yet the latter still got the better of me.
Hubby and I remember the day we flushed my medications to the murky depths below, having weaned myself off them gradually over the course of a year. There were so many and in different colours, we stained the porcelain so resorted to a ‘loo bloo’ to disguise the fact. It was a good and positive day.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have recently lost our beloved dog Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney, and now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of my GSD so had hers done too. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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4 Responses to FOWC with Fandango — Below

  1. Jordan says:

    Blessings dear, I have been the same, delighted also to walk in the light. Shine on dear soul xxx

  2. Thanks for being open now and sharing your struggles. Most everything that grows
    in dark places are unsdesireable.

    • I was able to turn things round and having Hubby in my corner helps me beyond words. We both get down days but made a bargain when we got married that it was still OK to have them, just not on the same day! 🙂

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