Tale Weaver #165 – Longing

This week Michael’s asking us to explore the concept of longing.
I suppose I long for times past.
Not that getting old worries me so much, or I feel I missed out on a lot of opportunities.
I made some pretty standard and stupid mistakes, had my share of hardships and health issues, the latter of which have been sorted and I’ve come out the other side OK.

Losing Mum in January was both a release and blessing for her, but for those of us left behind, we’ve had to deal with our grief the best way we can.
I lost my Mum to dementia several years ago, and would long for the days when she would call me by my sister’s name, which is how things were when I was growing up. It worked the other way too, my sister often being called Di, and I accepted that Mum was seeing one of us and thinking of the other. It was the same with our husbands, so just a little quirk which we would tease her about, what made her my Mum.

Our visits were irregular, not because we didn’t want to go, but being so far away, it was not just a case of getting in the car and nipping down the road. We had other things to consider, but when we had the boat, we were a hundred miles closer and tried to do down once a month.

I wrote this for another challenge, and it seems fitting to repeat it here.
Mum’s chair, like her, is no longer there by the window. But I remember.

I remember you sitting in this chair
Every day for what seemed eternity,
The sunlight catching your snow-white hair,
I felt you slipping away from me.
Your body here, your mind elsewhere,
I wonder where in time you’ll be.
Happiness surrounds you there
I see you smile at a memory,
I hold your hand to show I care,
Hoping you see what I see.
Shadows linger, hearts laid bare,
Acceptance of what will be will be.
So many things we still can share
When your thoughts filter back to me,
I’ll be sitting here in your chair.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have recently lost our beloved dog Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney, and now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of my GSD so had hers done too. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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4 Responses to Tale Weaver #165 – Longing

  1. Michael says:

    Lovely Di. I think longing can be as you described the memories of your mother. Thanks for adding your thoughts this week.

  2. Michael B. Fishman says:

    This is a beautiful poem and I love how the first and last sentences are tied together.

    • Thank you for your lovely comment Michael. The previous challenge was to write a poem of 15 lines with a rhyming pattern of ABABAB. Mum had a recliner chair by the window and would sit there for hours, sometimes dozing, sometimes watching the birds, sometimes in a far off place.

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