March 1, 2018, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that includes a raven. It can be in nature or used to describe humanity as a metaphor. Follow the bird. Go where the prompt leads.
The pain was excruciating, and she was alone and afraid.
Breathe. Short pants.
With a final push, she delivered her child into the world.
Spent, she looked into her newborn’s face, then wrapped it to her.
The bird was the last thing she saw.
The poacher believed both to be dead until the babe started to cry.
The girl couldn’t have been more than fifteen. Undernourished, she didn’t stand a chance.
A bird circled overhead, dark against the blue sky.
The child had jet black hair and blue eyes.
‘I’ll call you Raven,’ he whispered and took her home.
I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes!
In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too.
On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts.
From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives.
We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
You met the challenge successfully and this was a pleasure to read.
Oh Di, lovely take, a very metaphoric response.
Sad on too many levels. Great response.
Sad and unforgettable.
Emotion packed. Well done.
Thank you Susan.
The poor mother and such a lucky baby. What a start to life.
I saw the raven as an omen and guardian. I think the baby is going to do OK though.
Tragic story and well written, but I did get a laugh and read it twice to understand the significance of ‘short pants.’ I thought it was a piece of clothing. Even though it was beside the word ‘breathe.’ Sometimes I am way too literal.
The split perspective works well in this flash, Di. It captures both the sadness of a mother’s final act and a hunter’s new beginning. And nicely connected by the circling raven as a witness.
Thanks Charli. There is quite a lot unsaid, but I’m glad my ‘message’ came across.
Something I’m learning about flash fiction is how powerful what remains unsaid can be.
Exactly. The reader interprets our tales independently which is what makes them so good!
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It sounds like a good start to a fantasy story. An anecdote they’d tell a foundling.