Flash Fiction: March 1st

March 1, 2018, prompt: In 99 words (no more, no less) write a story that includes a raven. It can be in nature or used to describe humanity as a metaphor. Follow the bird. Go where the prompt leads.
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/12307624/posts/1781983980

The pain was excruciating, and she was alone and afraid.
Breathe. Short pants.
With a final push, she delivered her child into the world.
Spent, she looked into her newborn’s face, then wrapped it to her.
The bird was the last thing she saw.

The poacher believed both to be dead until the babe started to cry.
The girl couldn’t have been more than fifteen. Undernourished, she didn’t stand a chance.
A bird circled overhead, dark against the blue sky.
The child had jet black hair and blue eyes.
‘I’ll call you Raven,’ he whispered and took her home.

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About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! Due to a nightmare of a house sale in 2014, 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat until April 2017. We made strong friendships both on and off the water, and enjoyed swan and duck families for neighbours. Sadly times change and we now reside in a small bungalow a short distance from the beach on the Lincolnshire coast.
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19 Responses to Flash Fiction: March 1st

  1. You met the challenge successfully and this was a pleasure to read.

  2. Michael says:

    Oh Di, lovely take, a very metaphoric response.

  3. Norah says:

    Sad on too many levels. Great response.

  4. Nicole says:

    Sad and unforgettable.

  5. susansleggs says:

    Emotion packed. Well done.

  6. The poor mother and such a lucky baby. What a start to life.

  7. Tragic story and well written, but I did get a laugh and read it twice to understand the significance of ‘short pants.’ I thought it was a piece of clothing. Even though it was beside the word ‘breathe.’ Sometimes I am way too literal.

  8. Charli Mills says:

    The split perspective works well in this flash, Di. It captures both the sadness of a mother’s final act and a hunter’s new beginning. And nicely connected by the circling raven as a witness.

  9. Pingback: Ravens « Carrot Ranch Literary Community

  10. khiatons says:

    It sounds like a good start to a fantasy story. An anecdote they’d tell a foundling.

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