She’s gone

The text message came at 11.30 to say if I wanted to say my goodbyes, now was the time.
Hubby and I dropped everything, and as I tried to cancel his doctor’s appointment, he packed up the dog and the car for the seven and a half hour trip.
I rang the ward and spoke to the Sister. I explained where we were, and she said if we got there, regardless of the time, we’d be able to visit. It was not meant to be.
We were just locking the front door when the text message came to say Mum had passed away. It was midday.
OB was already on his way (some 5 hours for him) and intended to continue his journey. I asked him to give Mum a kiss from me when he saw her in The Chapel of Rest.

It’s been expected. Mum has been in God’s Waiting Room for a while and now she’s with my Dad, free from pain and confusion, whole again with the man she loved for 46 years.
Sis is devastated, and ‘not in a good place’ as she put it. I’ve let Bro know, Mum’s brother, and my Dad’s surviving sister but have been unable to contact Dad’s surviving brother.
There’s not much else I can do. It’s pointless travelling all that way and then coming back again.

I said my goodbyes when I saw Mum in December, though I’d spoken to her a few times since, including Monday when I asked how she was, her reply being ‘I’m not very well.’ She knew who I was and I told her I loved her. She said she loved me too. My last card would have reached her either Tuesday or yesterday. It was one of the ones I made the other day.

Even when you know it’s going to happen, it’s like a punch in the gut and everything goes sideways. It will be down to Sis to do the paperwork though Mum had already arranged and paid for her funeral so that us kids wouldn’t have the worry.

I believe no-one dies as long as they are remembered. I have some wonderful memories of my Mum, from her shooting mayonnaise all over herself when she bit into her KFC burger, CB radios she couldn’t get the hang of, endless rabbits, boats that weren’t (top boxes on cars), apron strings always begging to be untied, baking sessions and a thousand other things that made her my Mum.
I look in the mirror and see her every day. She will always be with me.

We lit a candle for you today. God Bless you and look after you both. I love you.


About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
This entry was posted in Family and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

61 Responses to She’s gone

  1. fransiweinstein says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. And you are so right, even when you know it’s coming it hurts and blindsides you. I love what you said — that no one dies if they are remembered. That is truly a beautiful sentiment. Your mom IS in a better place now.

  2. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother ❤

  3. My Deep Condolences and Heartfelt Symphony. May she RIP. Prayers for you and your family.

  4. stevetanham says:

    So sorry for the loss of Mum. At least the suffering and confusion is over. Best wishes to you all xx

  5. Here we would say “başın sağolsun” which translates to “I am sorry for your loss”. Now her suffering is over and she can rest. Thinking of you x

  6. I am so sorry. I feel like I know her from all your posts. You are absolutely right. I doesn’t matter if you knew it was coming. When it happens, it does suck out all the oxygen. Hugs to you and your whole family.

  7. colinandray says:

    So sorry to hear your news Di but, as you note, it was not exactly unexpected. She is now at peace and will no doubt be very happy with the way that you will be remembering her. I too remember my Mum for the silly things that she did. She was always “good for a few laughs”, and what better way could there be to be remembered? Feel free to take a break from blogging if you feel a need, as we’ll all still be here later (we have nowhere else to go!)! Take care. 🙂

    • Thanks Colin.
      Things are a bit sort of fuzzy. I’m going through my reader to keep my mind occupied but feeling detached. I’m glad my sister was with her when she died. From what the Ward Sister had said, Mum had fluid on her chest and they’d administered a heavy painkiller to keep her comfortable with everything else, so I like to think it was a peaceful passing.

  8. Jane Fritz says:

    My condolences. It’s never easy. Never.

  9. I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum. She will always live on in your heart.

  10. foguth says:

    My condolences, thankfully, as you pointed out, she is now pain-free. C. S. Lewis said, “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.” That strikes a chord with me and I find comfort in the idea of being a soul, which I also believe is eternal.

  11. So sorry! Sending you my thoughts and prayers

  12. Ritu says:

    So sorry for your loss Pen. A mother is a very special person and when you have a strong link with them, it is hard to say goodbye, but you are right that she is with your dad now, and complete again. ((( hugs)))

  13. Oh, I’m so sorry – I had dropped by to read about Maggie’s birthday, and this was so very unexpected. I hope it was comforting that when you spoke to her earlier this week she knew who she was talking to.

    We’ll keep you in our thoughts and prayers over here.

  14. I’m so sorry to read about your mum. I hope she is free from pain and reunited with your dad. My condolences to you and your family xx

  15. Michael says:

    Dear Di, I am so sorry to hear this news. I know what you mean about that punch in the gut, no matter how prepared you might be it still hurts. Take care of you and hold close those wonderful memories you have of your mother. I remember when my dad died, he did quickly and even though my brother and sister lived relatively close they never made to the nursing home before he passed away. I will keep you in my thoughts. Grief is a roller coaster Di, you are lucky to have hubby at your side. Take care.

  16. DM says:

    Just now read this. Thinking of you and Paul Di… DM

  17. scifihammy says:

    Oh I am so sorry to read this. A mother is someone special and will always remain so. I am glad she is at peace now. Sending my heartfelt condolences to you and yours.

  18. MeRaw says:

    So very sorry xx

  19. Oh, Di. I haven’t been keeping up with my WP reading, and only just now saw this post. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. You’re right that knowing death is coming does not make it easier when it happens. I remember how I cried at my mother’s bedside when she passed, even though I knew her suffering was finally at an end. Hugs, friend.

  20. So sorry for your loss xx

  21. buffalopound says:

    Sorry for your loss. Becoming an orphan at any age is never easy.

  22. Pingback: For Mum | pensitivity101

Comments are closed.