I realise my posts of late have been a disjointed garbled mish-mash, there has been no pattern, no plan, no theme, just writings as and when on a variety of subjects that bear no connection to each other for most of the time.
Like my music, my writing has reflected my mood, and after re-reading some of the poetry entries I’ve posted, I can confirm I am definitely one rather confused, angry and uptight individual!
At least I have had the luxury of an outlet for my frustrations and concerns, something I didn’t have so many years ago when I kept everything inside, blaming myself, and losing not only the plot, but my sense of worth as I sank deeper and deeper into depression.
In 1988 I found myself sitting at my electronic keyboard at 4am (with my headphones on) playing hymns, and I felt something, a sense I was not alone in my fight, which is why my final choice for the Song Challenge was You’ll Never Walk Alone.
I am lucky in that I can now recognise the signs, have a partner I can turn to, and thus head them off and deal with them before they become a major issue. Although there is no order to current concerns, they all banded together in one almighty onslaught to such an extent that neither of us knew what to do, or how and when to do it.
Light is now at the end of our Tunnel of Dismay, and although the forthcoming outcome is not what we wanted, we see it as a closing chapter in our life and the opening of another.
We are going to enjoy our ‘holiday’ on the canals next week, and I am actually looking forward to travelling the Grand Union and tackling the lock flights as it is something we haven’t done and will be able to say we did.
We can begin to get back into a routine, albeit different from life aboard, and integrate our newfound skills in frugality into land living.
When we decided to buy the boat in 2014, we looked at it as a solution to buy us time in a crazy world we couldn’t keep up with.
It has been an interesting time and one I won’t forget or regret.