Far (t) and away

This healthy eating is all very well,
Fresh fruit and veg makes the stomach swell
To such an extent, hunger’s kept at bay,
Exactly the way the brochures say.
Side effects in between are few
But there is one (between me and you)
That isn’t perhaps of the fragrant kind,
You know what I mean, it all comes from behind.
Sugar puff wee is a sign I know
That levels have spiked, or have dropped too low,
But what to do about the fruity part,
That fermenting bit that makes us all far (t)?
Trapped wind is painful, we’d all agree
So let rip with gusto and set it all free,
When in a group, you can blame someone new,
But alone with your spouse, they’ll be pointing at you.
At least it’s not taxable, or rather not yet
The price one would pay could be anyone’s bet.

But please don’t make it against the law,
If people pass out and are hitting the floor.
Embarrassment makes me red in the face,
I was never one who could blush with grace,
So as we emerge for this odorous fog,
I suppose I could blame it on the dog.


About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and have a terrible sweet tooth. Best friends are Hubby, our dog Maggie, Bro in NZ, MSM and MOH (and his dog). I am also a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! Due to a nightmare of a house sale in 2014, 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat until April 2017. We made strong friendships both on and off the water, and enjoyed swan and duck families for neighbours. Sadly times change and we were once again house hunting until September. We now reside in a small bungalow a short distance from the beach on the Lincolnshire coast.
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3 Responses to Far (t) and away

  1. scifihammy says:

    haha Always blame it on the dog! 🙂

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