This healthy eating is all very well,
Fresh fruit and veg makes the stomach swell
To such an extent, hunger’s kept at bay,
Exactly the way the brochures say.
Side effects in between are few
But there is one (between me and you)
That isn’t perhaps of the fragrant kind,
You know what I mean, it all comes from behind.
Sugar puff wee is a sign I know
That levels have spiked, or have dropped too low,
But what to do about the fruity part,
That fermenting bit that makes us all far (t)?
Trapped wind is painful, we’d all agree
So let rip with gusto and set it all free,
When in a group, you can blame someone new,
But alone with your spouse, they’ll be pointing at you.
At least it’s not taxable, or rather not yet
The price one would pay could be anyone’s bet.
But please don’t make it against the law,
If people pass out and are hitting the floor.
Embarrassment makes me red in the face,
I was never one who could blush with grace,
So as we emerge for this odorous fog,
I suppose I could blame it on the dog.
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