Sabotage, the misunderstood

My mother in law would often lecture me about my weight, she of the liquid diet to wash down three meals a day, eater of both her and Dad’s personally iced Christmas cakes, demolisher of Christmas handmade sweets, and snatcher of a homemade gingerbread intended for a charity fete,  telling Dad to give them five pounds instead.
She upset me on several occasions, but like  everything else, I learned to deal with it, and not take comfort in food.

tea potPut a face on this, and it could well be my M-I-L!

We are staying with MOH for a few days as Hubby has been lending a hand with Frank (post to follow soon). As is always the case, food and meals is a difference of opinion, taste and lifestyles, and this has now been compounded by the SW programme.

When we were here two Christmasses ago, I prepared enough veg for Boxing Day bubble and squeak, but MOH dished up everything and our plates were overloaded. His dinner dishes are 16 inches across whereas mine are half that.
Since then, I have insisted of being in charge of the kitchen on our visits, preparing plenty for the three of us, but dividing it up unequally so that each of our appetites is satisfied.

Anyone who has tried to cook in someone else’s kitchen, find ingredients or suitable pans in unfamiliar cupboards, a knife that actually cuts, and how to operate a new microwave when the manual has been thrown away will know exactly what I mean.
Throw into the equation Hubby’s recent digestive problems with anything spicy, and a guy who could eat for England and still want seconds, I am having a little difficulty to say the least!
diet battleFoolishly, I left my SW book and food diary behind so Syn values of things I don’t normally have are unknown, and therefore my best plan is not to have them at all.
Whilst I am trying not to let my preferences get in the way of feeding the guys, differences in opinion are arising.

Apart from the ‘Wise Guy’ who thinks it’s funny to tease and torment you by eating anything of yumminess in front of you, one of the most common things I’ve found is that people think a cake or bar of chocolate here and there won’t matter, or that you can go out and still have the cream tea, sticky bun or steak and chips as they do, being a party pooper if you don’t.
minion diet jokeWe went out for a drive the other day and were treated to an ice cream.
I am aware that some have syn values of between 9 and 14, so ‘allowed’ the maximum. At the end of the day when I added up everything else (I’ve improvised a spreadsheet while we’re away), I had synned to the total of 25.
I was not pleased with myself and am now trying to get back to some kind of sensible eating on my part.

When MOH and I went shopping, we bought fresh fruit, muesli breakfast, quark, fresh vegetables, and some other basics we could all have.
I have been cooking normal dinners (I don’t believe in different meals for different people) and having a smaller portion with extra salad. Today I did macaroni cheese with ham and tomatoes, adding to my plate my vegetable medley of carrots, peppers, onions, garlic and mushrooms.

I was quite happy to cook, although this almost didn’t come about as MOH wanted to take us out for a meal, or have a chinese, or fish and chips.
Not wanting to appear ungrateful, I tried to explain that I’d rather cook for us as I could control the ingredients and know exactly what went in my mouth.
slimming world 1 st I emphasised that I’d lost over a stone in 6 weeks, and didn’t want to undo the good I’d done. Sadly this was met with the comment that the weight loss would slow down now and it wouldn’t matter.
Well, I’m afraid it does, and half of the battle with any food/diet plan is committment and making changes. When I reach my target and maintain it for a few months, then I’ll consider straying occasionally, but it will still be on my terms.

I hate confrontation, discord, and falling out, especially as the three of us have been such good friends for almost thirty years.
MOH has a weight problem too now and I had hoped that maybe some of the things I had would be of interest to him. His brother has an even bigger appetite than he does, and when the two of them get together, most of their waking hours appear to be eating, or thinking about eating, even before the washing up is done on their previous meal.
health dietUnfortunately, MOH believes that in order to lose weight he has to live on nothing but fruit and salad, which he’s gets bored with by day three.
He loves his food in all guises, but joining something like SW is not his style.
He’s a good cook too, but tends to go for quantity rather than filling ingredients, especially when he has visitors. He buys plenty of fresh fruit and veg, meat or fish for the freezer, and has recently stopped adding the chocolate, biscuits and crisps to his basket.
However, rather than freezing his purchases in meal size portions, he freezes the entire pack and so when defrosted, feels obliged to cook and eat the lot. The dog is also in the heavyweight league due to leftovers and sometimes food just gets thrown away having gone off before it was used.

This is one of the pitfalls of living alone I suppose.
He is more than a friend, he is family, having been there for us when we were at our lowest and most vulnerable on more than one occasion.
I enjoy looking after the men in my life and spoiling them from time to time with treats and little luxuries. I’ve found alternatives and happy to share should they want to try them.

But at the end of the day, it all comes down to the individual, and we can all make excuses, can’t we.
diet joke

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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9 Responses to Sabotage, the misunderstood

  1. It is especially hard when your close friends aren’t as supportive. I have a good friend who is also dieting and lost 20 lbs. She has at least another 20 to go, maybe 40. We do things with another couple. That woman is also on a diet but she always brings candy. When you are trying to lose it’s better not to have the temptation. We went to a play last week and she brought out her “candy bag.” My husband and I don’t eat them. There are other foods I prefer if I’m going to pig out. Good luck with your eating plan. You have done really well.

  2. So difficult when visiting. I used to do the only fruits and salads…and bored by the 3rd day, but also lost appetite because all that I would allow myself was fruits and salads. I need to get back into that mind frame I think – easier when food is just fuel and I was so busy – and there weren’t not a lot of choices available..and I only had myself to look after.
    Hang in there. You’re doing great

  3. Mary Job says:

    Well done. A step forward in the right direction will amount to lots of steps.

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