A perfect murder

The theory behind this post is (hopefully) a piece of fiction, though fans of Roald Dahl may be familiar with a similar Tale of the Unexpected.
roald dahlI attended a poetry course in 1974 having been put forward by a particular gentleman in the circle of friends of my first fiance’s parents. This gentleman had an eleven year old son who had quite a vivid imagination and had great pleasure in telling us his idea of the perfect murder as we were all enjoying an evening drink over his orange squash.

It all revolved around using a large frozen leg of meat as a club to beat the victim senseless and to death. The body would be dismembered using one of the latest kitchen gadgetry electric carving knives, and the pieces frozen.
These would later be put into a grinder and ground to a fine powder which in turn would be flushed down the loo or spread on the garden as fertiliser to disperse in the wind.
The joint would be defrosted and eaten with the Sunday roast, thus destroying the evidence of a weapon.
roastEleven.
Makes you wonder doesn’t it.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have recently lost our beloved dog Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney, and now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of my GSD so had hers done too. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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