I’m fed up.
I mean, really fed up, as in TOTALLY.
Despite blood pressure pills and being cauterised twice, I had another nosebleed last night.
I have been taking it so easy, I am being mistaken for a sofa.
I am so laid back, I am almost horizontal, even though I have to sleep sitting up.
Yesterday, we paid a visit to MOH and the most stressful thing I did was open the tub of coleslaw for our salad dinner.
We got home just after 5.30 to discover the internet was still down.
The usual scenario, lights on, our gizmos seeing the signal from the external box, but no connection from the internet router inside to said box on the outside wall.
OK, I suppose that didn’t help the stress levels.
In order to unwind, I discovered a selection of new ‘patience’ games Hubby had downloaded for me some time ago that didn’t need internet access to play. Seemed like a good way to chill out as he decided to watch a couple of DVDs.
We were getting ready for bed at 11.20, and I had just applied the nose cream, felt a ping and it was like a starter gun, there we were, off again.
Hubby set the timer, helped me to the bench and insisted I stay put keeping pressure on the fleshy part of my beak.
After fifteen minutes, he had put together an overnight bag (which is still packed), and the flow seemed to have stopped.
My side of the bed was packed with pillows, so armed with the kitchen roll and strict orders (bless him) not to dab, touch, sneeze or blow, I tried to settle down to sleep.
It was not a good night.
I was conscious of a tickle that may, or may not, have been a drip, anxious not to bleed all over the bedding, getting a stiff neck from my sitting position and poor Hubby was restless as he was so worried about me, even though I’d promised to wake him should anything happen. The night bag was on the back step in case we had to move in a hurry.
Maggie had a churning tummy having not eaten all day, then mine started in harmony so I asked Hubby to let me out of bed and made myself a cup of tea. It was 2.15.
At 2.35 I was walking Maggie up to the car park as she was desperate to go out, and then I needed the loo too, so we didn’t get back to the boat until gone 3.
It’s impossible being quiet when you have a stiff and heavy metal hatch to lift out of the way before entering, but I tried, and Hubby seemed to be dozing OK.
I settled on the bench, Maggie curled up beside me, and dozed too for a couple of hours.
Hubby surfaced around 7.30, completely shattered, and suggested I got back into bed. I didn’t argue, and he took Maggie out for her first business of the day. I vaguely remember him coming back, but slept until 9.45.
Washed and dressed, I was in two minds whether to apply the nose cream after what had happened the night before but decided to go with it, ever so gently!
All day I have been treading softly, careful not to do anything too strenuous, and I’m fed up with being restricted in my movements and daily routine like this. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, but afraid that if I do otherwise, I’m going to end up back in hospital. And it’s true, the food sucks.
I went back to bed this afternoon, exhausted after doing some basic shopping, and slept for 2 hours.
I’m due to talk to my GP on Monday about the results of my blood tests, and will ask her for a referral as neither Hubby or I think they are blood pressure related now.
He took my blood pressure during the bleed, and it was 134 over 59 which is pretty good going by the ‘normal’ 135 over 80. That makes me more fed up than ever.
If I knew the cause, I could do something about it. But I don’t. And I need to.