My computer hates me.

If I were paranoid, I would think they were all out to get me.
Hell! They ARE all out to get me!
What I want to know is why Hubby can use my laptop and it responds to his gentle musings, caressing of the keys and whatever else he does with it without any problem whatsoever.
Then he passes it to me………… yes, passes, not switch off or unplug, but just puts it in my hands, I sit down to blog and…………………Nothing.

Yesterday, it took over half an hour for my reader to load. Then just as I start scrolling down the page, I’m bombed out.
Old Smirkface over there on the other bench is now on his own laptop and tapping, scrolling, reading away without so much as a flicker of discontent.

Today, I have had the same problems, apart from my early morning entry, and there’s no way I can do that every day! I went back to bed at 6.30 and didn’t surface for four hours!

Hubby (aka Smirkface, love you Honey honest) senses my impatient frustration, well actually he witnesses it both visual and verbal, so suggested we go out for a ride, just as I managed to get past the login screen after trying for over fifteen minutes.
IT KNOWS!  There is something up there (or in there) watching my every move, waiting for me to concede (ungracefully) before it behaves itself.
OK, I’m not computer savvy. I’m just a user, but I’m friendly! However, putting those two words together in one sentence when referring to me is obviously the Kiss of Death.
Those sneaky little microchips, microprocessors, electrons and other electronic goodies plus Hubby’s personal favourite Gremlins (I hate him as he sits there grinning at me like some hyena on speed!) are ganging up on me in some kind of Anti-Di software warfare.
Later, back at the boat and armed with a cup of tea and a bar of chocolate, I try again and …….. nothing happens. The lights are on and no-one’s home…………. on my laptop anyway. But his?
Yep, first time, he’s in, he’s connected, he’s on WP, he’s reading, blogging, checking stats, opening up a new tab and researching for his latest post, and I’m……………. stalled.

Out of sympathy (read fed up with my whingeing), he says he’ll look at my laptop and make sure that nothing is lurking or running in the background that shouldn’t be.
He offers the use of his.: the one that is on its last legs as the keypad no longer works so he has a full size plug in keyboard, the mousepad doesn’t work either, so he’s got a plug in one of those too, and I think is it really a good idea for me to hook up to spaghetti junction and run the risk of ‘breaking’ that one too.
I decide instead to take the dog for a walk to get some fresh air (ie: cool off after my fifth attempt in an hour to check my reader).

Forty minutes later I am back, and he is still running his first aid checks.

My virus checker has been removed and reinstalled as my problems were enhanced when I updated it last week.
He has taken off the Search Engine and reinstalled that too.
He did find some intriguing files and downloads that I knew nothing about, let alone what they were for, why I’d need them, or how I’d installed them when I leave all that kind of stuff to him anyway, or at least do it under his supervision.

I am terrified of letting something in but it would seem that my laptop turf has been invaded by some piggybacking parabyte site.

I have the perfect solution.

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