One week on

This time last week, I was sharing a toasted cheese sandwich with my Mum having taken her up and down the river via my laptop and camera chip.
river 13 5 river ducklings swan river

It was her birthday on Friday, and I decided to give her a call to sing Happy Birthday down the phone as I used to years ago.

It was difficult to keep a smile in my voice and tone jovial and happy, as Friday was obviously not as good a day as some.
After my rendition of the birthday serenade, it was evidently clear she didn’t know who I was.
This was one of the reasons I stopped calling as it was too upsetting for both of us and I will not be accused of causing her unnecessary anxiety.

I asked her what her plans were for the day, and she said she was having her hair done.
I knew this already as it was a Friday and a regular thing for her. In fact shortly after we’d sold the house and were staying with our friend, I went down to visit her on my own and took her to the hairdressers. I had mine cut whilst I was waiting, then took her out for lunch at the local carvery. That was a good day.

I asked if she was going to be taken out for her birthday. She was doubtful as it was raining but she was going to have her hair done.
I asked if she’d had any other phone calls (brothers) or visitors (grandchildren of various generations) and she said No, but then she would probably be out if they called as she was having her hair done.

I kept the conversation chatty and light before saying goodbye, hating the dementia that is increasingly fogging my Mum’s mind.
She surprised me then by perking up and suddenly saying
‘Is that you Di? You sound very far away. Are you out on the river in the boat?’
Bless you Mum.
happy birthday

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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8 Responses to One week on

  1. colinandray says:

    No doubt you will savor that moment (last paragraph). 🙂

  2. scifihammy says:

    I am so glad that your Mum knew it was you in the end.
    And I hope she had a lovely birthday too 🙂

  3. So sad and heartbreaking. Glad that there was a flicker of recognition. Makes it all worthwhile.

  4. What a poignant gift to receive, especially under the circumstances. I’m so happy that you shared that one lucid, sparkling moment. I wish for you both many, many more of them. And I wish for some real scientific advancement in this field. It is such a massive, pressing concern for millions of people everywhere.

    • We read on the papers about new cures or treatments for dementia. They may be too late to help my Mum, but you never know. I send letters and pictures by email to my sister, and refer to past times to help Mum remember. When I visit, I take things as they are and adjust accordingly. For me, it is paramount not to upset or distress her, and if it means nodding here and there as she repeats herself, so long as she is content, that’s all I can ask for.

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