Thank you for answering. My apologies for not getting back to you sooner.
It’s been one helluva week.
Suddenly my life is a roller coaster of coincidence and dreams of what may or may not be.
However, I am realistic enough to accept that sometimes we cannot have what we may most desire.
Twenty years of no contact is a lifetime.
Jenny made a new life for herself, a life in which I had no part except in her memory.
She knew how difficult my father would make life for me if he found out I had made contact. The cards passed on to me by my Grandmother were a secret between her and I. Dad never knew she had received them or passed them on. My brother received nothing.
I have made a life with Sara and our children. It’s a good life, and I would love for Jenny to meet them and come to know them. I know she would love them almost as much as I do.
But in doing that, the past would come into play, and in turn, my father’s wrath. I am not prepared to subject them to that.
If you are my Jenny, know that I loved, admired and respected you, and cared enough not to complicate your new life or jeopardise your future happiness. I left you that day with a contented inner warmth I had not felt since the day you left us. I never blamed you, tried my best to understand and refused to side with my father and brother who hated you to such an extent that they slandered your name.
Or at least tried to. You may not have realised just how many friends you had at the time, and no-one turned against you. Not a single one. Dad couldn’t handle that either, which made him hate you all the more.
If you are not this Jenny, I hope your LJ is aware of you in some way, knows how much you cared and that you remember him after all this time.
I hope he has found even half the happiness I have and perhaps one day you will meet again, as yes, I do believe in Fate.
I am not strong enough to meet someone who could be a total stranger and have my hopes and dreams shattered. I would not wish that for you either. As you said, life is full of parallels and paradoxes, we have choices, and as individuals we must choose our own path.
Although this is hard for me, I think it best to remember good times and hold our precious memories close.
We each have our dreams, which in our case may be better than reality.
Think of me kindly,
She read and re-read the letter.
He was right of course. The past belonged in the past and should not be resurrected.
It didn’t matter if he was LJ or not, she was so very proud of him.
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