Hubby and I were both married before, and meeting each other all those years ago gave me a second chance at getting it right in a personal relationship.
Being given a second chance or giving someone else one is certainly a conversation piece.
We are easy going people really, willing to help wherever possible and generally take things as they come. But there have been times when things have not gone well, and second chances have literally been blown out of the window, basically because we don’t like being used or have grown tired of being taken for granted.
There’s a saying which I can’t fully remember but it goes along the lines of Once is unfortunate, Twice is coincidence but a Third time and it’s your own fault.
I trust Hubby implicitly. There is no question or doubt.
I could not say that about the Ex.
In a relationship, if one party cheats or lets the other down at a crucial moment when support and understanding were vital, are they worthy of a second chance?
Once bitten, twice shy so-to-speak.
In most cases, I think yes but Doubt sets in and any later innocent occurrence can be misread and misunderstood.
Families are another issue.
Blood is thicker than water and still waters run deep come to mind here.
You read in the media about estranged siblings and/or parents not having spoken in years, then suddenly the joyous reunion of ‘finding each other’ is even bigger news, and generates a feel good factor for those concerned and the reader.
For many though, it doesn’t work like that. For a cynic like me, it could be a matter of inheritance as it’s surprising how many ‘loving relatives’ come out of the woodwork at the reading of a will.
Whatever the reason for the family rift, sometimes there just can’t be another chance as too much has been said (or even unsaid) and hurt can be a killer. Why should one party be expected to simply shrug their shoulders and allow themselves to be walked over without a word of protest? Such a surprise when The worm has turned .
We’ve all been on the receiving end of arguments and something said in the heat of the moment, but sadly once voiced, it cannot be taken back, and sometimes it is simply better to walk away for good, however painful.
The saying is forgive and forget, and for me I may forgive, but I never forget.
In my opinion, Life is too short to hold grudges and I am actually incapable of hating anyone, though I can dislike someone intensely for no apparent reason.
However, I have my limits, and when I’m indifferent, you know that I’ve been pushed too far and literally don’t give a toss one way or the other.
For Hubby though, it’s neither. He is friendly, reliable, trustworthy and loyal (and yes, I am bias because I love him to bits) but it doesn’t pay to cross him.
He does not forgive.
He will not forget.
There is no second chance with him. Ever.
We have few friends, so postage for change of address notifications will be minimal once we’ve settled in pastures new as I’ll include it in our newsletter at Christmas. Those we once considered friends who ‘turned’ , will not be advised.
When we lock up and leave for the last time next week, there will be no backward glance other than the rear view mirror to ensure no-one is following us!
As they say, once the fresh paint has dried we’ll be forgotten.
We can live with that.