My sister and her husband almost got a divorce because of me.
They hadn’t been married very long, I was on my first attempt and we’d invited them round for a Sunday roast.
Brother-in-law had a good appetite and Sister has always been known to be a good cook.
As I was still a bit of a novice in the kitchen, I played VERY safe by cooking chicken and all the trimmings with an apple crumble for dessert.
Now I am Queen of the Crumbles.
I measure nothing, throw flour and fat into a bowl, rub them together until they resemble breadcrumbs, then add a couple of spoonfuls of sugar, cover whatever fruit I’m using with the mix, sprinkle a little more sugar on top and put it in the oven for 40 minutes. It turns out perfect every time.
I made one tonight actually, using the last of our frozen blackberries and last but one tub of last year’s apples. It will last us 2 days ( that’s a lot of lasts in those last couple of sentences, sorry) .
Going back to my story:
The main course was fine. Everyone cleared their plates, and compliments were made to the cook (ME, blush!) It was when we settled down for dessert that the problem started.
The crumble was one of my best.
The men wanted seconds.
Brother-in-law asked for thirds and Sister started to scowl.
Totally unaware of the invisible daggers being fired in his direction, he compounded his fate by uttering these Words of Death:
“This is great! Better than yours, Love. You must get the recipe”.
The argument that followed was embarrassing for all and I felt the villain of the piece. Sister stamped off to get their coats and they left in hostile silence.
Sister and I didn’t speak for weeks, and when I bumped into my brother-in-law in the garage, he said things had been touch and go in their marriage for a while until he managed to convince her how ridiculous she was being.
Apart from coming to a New Year’s Party we hosted, I never cooked for them again, and my own marriage failed shortly afterwards.
They were married for almost 34 years, and as far as I know, she never made him a crumble after that day and he never asked for one.