A grumble in the crumble

My sister and her husband almost got a divorce because of me.
They hadn’t been married very long, I was on my first attempt and we’d invited them round for a Sunday roast.
Brother-in-law had a good appetite and Sister has always been known to be a good cook.
As I was still a bit of a novice in the kitchen, I played VERY safe by cooking chicken and all the trimmings with an apple crumble for dessert.

Now I am Queen of the Crumbles.

royal crownI measure nothing, throw flour and fat into a bowl, rub them together until they resemble breadcrumbs, then add a couple of spoonfuls of sugar, cover whatever fruit I’m using with the mix, sprinkle a little more sugar on top and put it in the oven for 40 minutes. It turns out perfect every time.
I made one tonight actually, using the last of our frozen blackberries and last but one tub of last year’s apples.Β  It will last us 2 days ( that’s a lot of lasts in those last couple of sentences, sorry) .

Going back to my story:
The main course was fine. Everyone cleared their plates, and compliments were made to the cook (ME, blush!)blush It was when we settled down for dessert that the problem started.
The crumble was one of my best.
The men wanted seconds.
Brother-in-law asked for thirds and Sister started to scowl.
Totally unaware of the invisible daggers being fired in his direction, he compounded his fate by uttering these Words of Death:
“This is great! Better than yours, Love. You must get the recipe”.

The argument that followed was embarrassing for all and I felt the villain of the piece. Sister stamped off to get their coats and they left in hostile silence.
Sister and I didn’t speak for weeks, and when I bumped into my brother-in-law in the garage, he said things had been touch and go in their marriage for a while until he managed to convince her how ridiculous she was being.
Apart from coming to a New Year’s Party we hosted, I never cooked for them again, and my own marriage failed shortly afterwards.

They were married for almost 34 years, and as far as I know, she never made him a crumble after that day and he never asked for one.



About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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19 Responses to A grumble in the crumble

  1. Crooked Tracks says:

    Oh my, this is so funny, now I am hungry for crumble πŸ™‚

    • We’ve got the second helping of yesterday’s two-fer tonight. Mine always taste good, hot or cold. πŸ™‚

      • Crooked Tracks says:

        Do you eat it with vanilla ice cream?

      • Sometimes. Or custard, or cream, or just on its own. I use fresh fruit wherever possible (our apples plus blackberries from the hedgerows or our rhubarb root, sometimes a mix of all of the little bits left over which are not quite enough on their own) cutting down on the sugar and fat in the mix, putting a little in with the fruit, but I think it’s the sprinkling on the top that does it. Nothing fancy, but it tastes great!

      • Crooked Tracks says:


  2. Just more proof that men probably should just be pretty and silent?

  3. I can understand just how serious this particular dessert is. It’s one of my all time favorites, and I’d devote my life to anyone who could make a fabulous one.
    Oh, how I’d give my left lung to try yours.

    • I have seen a variety of recipes for crumble toppings, but mine is always the basics of flour, fat and sugar, the latter two in reduced quantities. The thing is, is crumble in the US the same as it is here in the UK?
      We have different names for dishes familiar to our American friends.
      I remember a Big Boss coming over when I was working for an international bank and he fell for our bread and butter pudding. We also have a bread pudding, which he thought was the same. He returned to the US with a bread pudding made by yours truly.

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  6. Reena Saxena says:

    Sounds familiar πŸ™‚

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