One of my earliest posts was about friends and family.
Once again we have been labelled as The Bad Guys because we said ‘NO’.
We are seen as selfish and uncaring, those who make excuses rather than do our Duty, unprepared to assist, because the word NO inconvenienced the assumption of someone else.
We know a lot of people, but one thing we have learned since moving here is that the word NO is the Kiss of Death on relationships.
We have few friends, in truth, just one actually which goes back over 25 years now and he lives about 200 miles away.
Thus our world is each other and the dog.
In fact, she is the ONLY reason we socialise with anyone, other than doing mundane things like shopping. We both prefer dogs now to people. People, especially family, hurt you.
In my post R U a Hag, I covered Hurt, Anger and Guilt.
In this instance, we have had to say NO because current circumstances won’t allow it.
But that is seen as an Excuse.
Being unable to afford to make a 250 mile journey to spend a couple of hours over a cup of tea, then embarking on the return journey of another 250 miles on a regular basis, is an Excuse.
Being in ill health and bombed out on medication is an Excuse.
Being in the throes of moving house is an Excuse.
We keep ourselves to ourselves, plodding on with our daily routine, making the best of what little we have. We ask nothing of anyone, and are happy. The three of us are fine in our family unit.
Factor in other people, and the SHTF.
Those we have said NO to have no idea of our circumstances. They have never bothered to ask.
They have never visited. They have no interest in our lives.
They don’t contact us unless they want something and it is to benefit them.
We have offered our assistance in the past, and it has been beneficial to all, but in recent years we have offered and it has been refused. Other things (or other family members) take priority and we accept that.
We are however cast aside and forgotten, until the next time they need use of us, then because we can’t comply and it doesn’t suit them, it’s an Excuse.
You can choose your friends.
Family can get stuffed.