Very Strange

It feels very strange, but I am alone tonight. In fact, I have been alone (apart from my furry companion) since around 8.30 this morning.

I am used to walking the dog on my own when Hubby doesn’t feel up to it or is in too much pain to even contemplate it, though it is very rare he gives in.

I am used to having the house to myself if he has to go out.

But tonight, and possibly tomorrow, I will be sleeping with just the dog snuffling beside me.

It means I can do my starfish impression without having to worry about disturbing Hubby, or worse, kicking or thumping him in my sleep. It means I can have the duvet and pillows more or less all to myself. I can listen to the radio or a CD, or I can read until past midnight if I want to.

It means the bed will be cold. It means there will be no cuddles or goodnight kisses. The space he usually occupies will be empty, though the dog will probably curl up on his side as she did on mine when I was away seeing my brother.

I hope I don’t have bad dreams. He won’t be there to comfort and reassure me.

I hope no spiders come in. I can’t dispose of them, and our hoover is useless, as is the dog in those circumstances.

I feel like a piece of me is missing.

In the 25 years we’ve been together, apart from my time in NZ and a couple of times Hubby was in hospital, we’ve spent very few nights apart. The dog has been aware that something was in the wind as she has been particularly clingy for the past couple of days. Today she has been a permanent appendage to either my hip, heel or lap. Even on our second walk, she stayed close off lead.

We did the sums, and it just wasn’t viable for me to go too.

B&B for us and the dog was in excess of £50 a night. Our enquiries turned up that some hospitality inns were happy to accept the dog, with a charge of £15 – £25 a night FOR HER on top of £40 a night for a room (no breakfast) .

So Hubby is on his own, but he’s been in contact with me throughout the day.

Armed with a list of about 30 properties, he has gone house hunting some 250 miles away.

Once again, in most instances the details on the internet are false.

Over 12 were sold.

Many had building works going on around them, but the photographs didn’t show this.

He has been into estate agents and they are not aware of several of the properties he has driven by being on their books, despite their boards being on display.

Some are falling down, and the rest have been switched for sale by auction.

Tomorrow he is off to another area, another list in hand, and I have spent this evening checking the internet and sending him a file with a mere half a dozen properties that may be of interest, if he hasn’t got them already.

I am confused where one agent says a property is in need of full refurbishment, yet a second says it needs some modernisation.

Another property looks immaculate from the photographs, yet the details say it needs to be fully renovated. What has happened then since the photographs were taken?

In another instance, the same property is advertised by 4 agents, yet there are 2 prices.

One property boasts gas-fired central heating, yet all details of radiators quoted are electric.

They say moving house is one of the five most stressful things in life (bereavement, divorce, major illness and redundancy being the other four) .

When faced with these contradictions, you can understand why.

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