Better the Devil You Know

The early 80s were an up and down period of my life, and I didn’t know if I was coming or going.  In 1981 I thought I’d made a mistake, but now looking back on what I’d written, it was more of a case where I was afraid of being on my own and was prepared to accept any terms just to be ‘part of something’, hence my rewrite of the following:

ORIGINAL (1981)

I’m knocking on the door of your heart
Asking if I can be a part
Of your life again
If you agree, then let me in.
I’m begging you for another chance
Stepping forward no backward glance
How I want to be with you
Open the door, and let me through.
Don’t pull the shutters down on me,
I’ll be everything you want me to be,
Listen to what I have to say.
There has to be some other way.
I’ll never question your ways or means,
I’ll take each day, and relive my dreams,
With you by my side
If you’ll let me inside.
Please open up, there’s nothing to fear,
It’s chilly, and terribly lonely out here.

Rewrite 2014

I have to knock at your door today
To admit the mistake of running away,
I’ll beg if you want, to let me in,
Just tell me where you want to begin.
I only know how to be with you,
I’m afraid on my own, please let me through.
I’ll listen to what you have to say,
Do everything exactly your way.
I’ll never question your ways or means,
I’ll do as I’m told, and surrender my dreams.
I’ll be everything you want me to be,
See only what you want me to see.
I’ll stand meekly at your side,
The spirit in me has long since died.
I’ll accept my place, no matter how low,
I really have nowhere else to go.

walking away 3

Sometimes we know what we have to do, it’s just finding the courage to do it.

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! In November 2020, we lost our beloved Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney. We now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of Kizzy, my GSD when Hubby and I first met so had hers done too. On February 24th 2022 we were blessed to find Maya, a 13 week old GSD pup who has made her own place in our hearts. You can follow our training methods, photos and her growth in my blog posts. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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