Scrapbook entry 1984

I was going through my old scrapbook this week, and it was obvious from what I had written at the time that the early 80s were not exactly a happy time for me.

I remember writing the following. It was 1984 and I had resigned myself to the fact that it was unlikely I would ever be a natural mother. The local news reports were also of a young mother who had recently lost her baby and taken one from a shopping complex.

This is a work of fiction and I have never myself been in such a position.



Pretty dreamer, look at me,

With your eyes of smokey grey,

Tell me where your mind wanders

As in your cot you lay.

Curious dreamer, where do you go,

When darkness surrounds your head,

Tell me the wonders of your dreams,

Tell me through thought, words need not be said.

Those eyes, how bright they sparkle,

Bewitching in their gaze,

What do you see in the shadows?

What focuses through the haze?

Beautiful baby, please look my way,

Trap me with your eyes that shine,

Enchanting in your innocence

How I wish that you were mine.

Don’t whimper as I lift you,

And lay your head to my breast

Against the heart that’s beating

So wildly in my chest.

How good to feel your closeness,

How gentle your breath on my cheek,

To take you would be so easy,

But not give the Peace I seek.

Dear Baby, Sweet Dreamer, True Darling,

“Mother” is a title I lack,

So with a heavy aching and longing heart,

I must sadly put you back.


It was shortly after this that I applied to be a foster carer and over the next 4 years, fostered 15 teenagers. It became one of the most rewarding times of my life.foster care

About pensitivity101

I am a retired number cruncher with a vivid imagination and wacky sense of humour which extends to short stories and poetry. I love to cook and am a bit of a dog whisperer as I get on better with them than people sometimes! We have recently lost our beloved dog Maggie who adopted us as a 7 week old pup in March 2005. We decided to have a photo put on canvas as we had for her predecessor Barney, and now have three pictures of our fur babies on the wall as we found a snapshot of my GSD so had hers done too. From 2014 to 2017 'Home' was a 41 foot narrow boat where we made strong friendships both on and off the water. We were close to nature enjoying swan and duck families for neighbours, and it was a fascinating chapter in our lives. We now reside in a small bungalow on the Lincolnshire coast where we have forged new friendships and interests.
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