Loose woman definition: A promiscuous or disreputable woman – hussy, slut, strumpet, having low morals, sexually free.Whilst Olive here is far from the subject matter of my post today (I just like her pose), married or single, a girl can get a reputation by mixing with the wrong crowd, being overly friendly, or being with the wrong person at the wrong time.
I had a married friend who was extremely popular. We had been to school together where we had a kind of off-on friendship, but we went to the same local Youth Club and soon had a small circle of friends. Our backgrounds were pretty different, but for me, being a bit on the shy side in my teens, it was nice to be accepted into a crowd.
In the 80s, we worked together in the same office and used to meet each other outside work for the occasional night out or a pizza. Neither of our husbands seemed to mind, and when money was a little tight, we’d invite her and her husband round for a meal.
As I said, my friend was popular. It wasn’t unusual for her to be invited out to lunch and as she had friends elsewhere in the company, it didn’t surprise me when pretty soon our girlie nights stopped.
I can’t remember how it came about, but my husband invited hers over one Friday night. He came on his own, but we had a really enjoyable evening over a curry and the bottle of wine he’d bought. He was very good company, we laughed a lot and conversation was varied and unflagging. He left around 11 pm and we thought nothing else of it.
On Monday morning, I hadn’t even unlocked my desk before my friend came rushing up to me and started to give me one of the worst verbal bashings I’ve ever been on the receiving end of. It didn’t matter that the rest of the office staff were coming in to start their day, and I really didn’t know how to handle it, so I just sat there as she accused me of all sorts of things, and demanded to know what the hell I’d been thinking of ‘entertaining’ her husband while she had been out. They had had a blazing row, and she blamed me entirely.
Eventually, I explained that it had been my husband’s idea, not mine, and I didn’t understand why she was so angry. Her husband had enjoyed the evening and seemed happy enough when he left.
It turned out that although our girlie nights had finished, she hadn’t told him that, and continued to “meet up with me” two or three evenings a week. So he had been pleased to accept the invitation from my husband, thinking it would be a ‘bachelor night’ and was surprised to find me at home, happily cooking a meal. As the night had progressed, he realised that I was just a pawn in his wife’s game, and had confronted her. Apparently, she had been having affairs with three different men, and had used me as an excuse for going out.I’ve said before that I don’t like confrontation in any form, but reining in my own anger (we were in the office after all) and without raising my voice, I told her in no uncertain terms that if she was going to play around using other people as cover to do it, the least she could do was tell them!
Had I known about these late nights out clubbing we were supposedly having, I would have taken her to task weeks beforehand. But then she had led me to believe that the other friends she had in the company were female too. If they were, I wondered if she had used them in the same way, but if male, you can draw your own conclusions. Needless to say our friendship, and her marriage, ended.
Some months later, talk of redundancy was high on the agenda, and our Boss was relieved to announce that he only had to lose one member of his staff. As one person had rarely been in the office anyway and there was no work to catch up on, his decision was easy.