Office ‘gossip’

Conversations in the office can be quite eye opening. We’ve all whinged about the job, our immediate supervisors, the Boss, the pay, holidays, running out of biscuits or milk in the staff room, etc. But how about this………

I hadn’t been with the company very long when I was asked one day:

‘If you wanted to have an affair with anyone on the payroll, who would it be? Man or woman, it doesn’t matter’.

The total number of staff was around 30, two thirds of which were female, so I was loathe to answer to be honest, thinking it to be a trick question or practical joke to play on the new girl. Besides, I was happily married, and there was absolutely no-one I would have been remotely interested in even if I hadn’t been. The good news I suppose was that there was equally no-one I actually disliked or felt uncomfortable with. I’m quite a private person and thought this line of interest to be odd and a little intrusive for an office topic, even if it was just ‘between us girls’.

My initial silence intrigued them, yet my co-workers were adamant in wanting to know who I’d go for. They all had various people in mind for themselves so I decided to base mine on reasons why I didn’t fancy anyone in particular (or at all) .

Age and colour didn’t come into it, neither did their status within the company. All smokers were immediately out, as were all those with personal hygiene issues (clothes, hair or otherwise) .

This narrowed it down to about 10. As the ‘game’ stated it didn’t matter if my choice was married or not, I eliminated all those with families next, and was eventually left with a short list of 3. Not telling anyone who they were (or my process of thought) , I settled on the supervisor of an adjacent department because I found her excellent company with a good sense of humour, smart and totally professional in her job, and I liked her very much as a person. Surprisingly, these were some of the same qualities I’d found in my hubby when we met. They seemed satisfied with that and I thought that was the end of it, until one suddenly piped up

‘Does your husband love you?’

I knew little of their own relationships with their partners but my answer was instant, an immediate and resounding ‘Yes.’ This seemed to surprise them somewhat and they all wanted to know how I could be so sure.

I’m sure because when we met, we had nothing to offer each other except support and friendship.

I’m sure because he accepted me as I was, flaws, insecurities, warts and all.

I’m sure because he wasn’t judgemental of my mistakes in previous relationships.

I’m sure because he didn’t expect me to be the ideal partner, perfect in shape, beauty and sex appeal.

I’m sure because he never wanted anything from me except myself.

I’m sure because he’s always there for me, even at my worst, and will NEVER let me down.

Not that I felt I could tell them any of that of course, so I just said with a smile

‘Because he tells me so every day, and always gives me his last Rolo!’

The next question was more general, and I was relieved.

‘What’s the first thing you notice about a man?’

That was easy and I said that it depended on whether he was walking towards me or away. When asked to explain, I told them that I could tell a lot from a man’s eyes and how he looks at you, but if he was walking away, then I’m a ‘bum’ girl.

Then of course you always get the smart Alec who’s one step ahead…………..

 Oh, and hubby is great from both directions.

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