Here are some things that tell you you’re getting on a bit
Your GP looks 10 years old
At a job interview, they look at your qualifications and ask you ‘What’s an ‘O’ level’
Your nephew turns up on your doorstep to show off his new granddaughter
You buy a bar of chocolate and don’t get change from a pound
You reach out to embrace your mother only to discover you’re looking at your reflection
You sing along to the radio knowing all the words, and they announce it’s a golden oldie from 1969.
You see a favourite actor in his latest film and think he looks old, then realise he’s younger than you and it’s not make up.
You keep getting mail for hearing aids and incontinence pads
Penny Whistles are advertised at £19.99 plus P&P
You’re finding more and more grey hairs in your hairbrush
It hurts your gums to eat toast
You go shopping with £20 but come back with nothing having just covered your bus fare.
Someone saying they are happy and gay takes on a whole new meaning.
Coke isn’t necessarily something you drink or put on the fire.
Spelling correctly is no longer important.
A modest new family car costs ten times as much as your first house.
Your favourite biscuits are no longer 24p for 12
You get tired just opening a new packet of tea bags.
You have to get up more than once in the night for a wee
You go to bed for a ‘kiss and a cuddle’, get as far as the kiss and then fall asleep
You go to bed for a ‘kiss and a cuddle’, then forget why you went to bed early.
Those laughter lines around your eyes are looking more and more like a street map
The liver spots on your hands don’t wash off
And one for the guys: