The SWMBOs keep multiplying

Many of you know that Hubby refers to me as SWMBO.
I find this very endearing, not like the idiot woman who took umbrage and left her husband who referred to her as such!

Hubby is very inventive, and to date there are now 16 SWMBOs, some of which are in this post and this one.

Just to keep you updated, this is me in my ‘tender years’, a cute blonde SWMBO already getting her aim in with her club.
Meet Mum. She taught me well, though her tool of the trade was usually a frying pan, though she was pretty good with a mop and bucket cleaning up any bloodshed.
Over the years, we’ve had our fair share of good luck and misfortune, so I’ve been adapted accordingly, and sometimes I have to keep him in line when he’s overdone things.
Even the dog has been included!

But Hubby has excelled himself with the latest, and I just love (him for) it.

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MLMM Wordle #125

Love the lips graphic this week!
1. Anfractuous ((adj.) characterized by windings and turnings; sinuous; circuitous)
2. Stretch
3. Bar
4. Wine (it can be any type of alcohol really)
5. Sashay
6. Tipsy
7. Shiggles (abbreviation for shits and giggles: feel free to add your own slang terms and abbreviations)
8. Dance
9. Charming
10. Playful
11. Twilight
12. Customary

She took her customary position at the bar in The Twilight Club and toyed with her wine glass.
At no stretch of the imagination could the guy in her sights be considered a Prince Charming, but as a hostess, her job was to entertain the clients and give them a good time.
Already slightly tipsy and not feeling particularly playful, business was business and she attempted an anfractuous sashay across the dance floor.
Before she completed the distance to her quarry, the guy burst out laughing and did a runner out back.
Looking annoyed at losing a potential ‘mark’, one of his mates offered her an apology with
‘Sorry, he’s got an attack of the shiggles. Must have been something he ate.’

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Story Starter Challenge #16

“You must pay attention!”
Thus is Teresa’s Story Starter today

Trevor looked out of the classroom window.
There was a lot going on outside. The gardener was having a heated discussion with the Principal and there was a lot of waving of arms by one and jabbing of shovels and forks by the other.
The teacher’s voice droned on, and he subconsciously turned the page of his literature book.
The gardener was getting quite agitated in his movements now, slamming his tools into his barrow and storming off towards the potting shed.
‘………….. of the characters concerned. Now Trevor, what did you make of it all?’
‘I think Dad was angry at something the Head told him to do.’
There was silence in the class.
‘Trevor…..’ the teacher said patiently. ‘I know your father is the school’s groundsman, but he’s hardly Lady Chatterley’s lover. Now, you must pay attention!’

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7 and three quarter Nutty

I need some light relief, so going to respond to Rory’s Nutty post.
Don’t just answer these questions with quick one word answers, but give them some body! Throw yourself into it.
oooohhhhhhhhh……………… chocolate………………………….

A cowboy rode into town on Friday. He stayed in town for three days and rode out on Friday. How is that possible?
Friday was his horse and Monday was already booked, thus unavailable.

A rooster laid an egg on top of the barn roof. Which way did it roll?
It bloody hurt and the rooster is still reeling rather than rolling.

A truck driver is going down a one way street the wrong way, and passes at least ten cops. Why is he not caught?
He’s probably another cop, or he’s on a pushbike.

A farmer had 752 sheep and took one shot that got them all. How did he do it?
That is for Ewe to decide, but they all smiled for the camera, reflecting their good sides.

What word is spelled incorrectly in every single dictionary?
I would hazard a guess at incorrectly.

What starts with “e” and ends with “e” but only has one letter in it?
Printed matter or otherwise, I’d say an envelope.

What two keys can’t open any door?
The quay at the docks and a key on a piano/keyboard.

A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a single hair on his head got wet. How come?
He was bald.

Would you rather be trapped in an elevator full of men with BO, three soaked dogs, a basket filled with week old smelly socks or a box filled with used nappies?
Give me the dogs any day. There is nothing more affectionate than a wet dog.

Would you rather look like an octopus, act like an octopus or be an octopus?
If I am an octopus, I get to be the other two by default. I recall a few male octopuses from years gone. Hands everywhere. I could do with some payback.

If you had the world’s attention for 30 seconds, what would you say?
Time waits for no man, or woman, but this is my time, so shut the f@*k up and listen!

Would you rather be able to copy and paste in real life, or undo in real life?
Undo. Rather cancel it than make all those mistakes again!

Answers to be provided before you answer the questions on the underside of the outer edge of a defrosted ice cube, not thawed  mind, but most assuredly defrosted!
Sorry, the ice cube tray got dumped with the old fridge freezer, so this will have to do.

Posted in blogging, Challenge, humour | Tagged , | 12 Comments

Three Things Challenge: PL32

Today’s prompt from Paula: rainbow, serpent, cookieThe serpent tempted Eve with an apple in the Garden of Eden.
‘Subway’ are tempting me with their rainbow cookies in the Garden of Eating!

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FOWC with Fandango — Makeshift

We usually term this as ‘thinking outside the box’ or in the particular instance I’m going to write about, outside the tent.
Regular readers will know Hubby and I have spent a lot of time in tents.
However, for holidays and pre-dogs, he had a little pup tent, only suitable for the two of us, so it was a good job we were friends!
Obviously there’s not a lot of room, and needing some extra space, we came up with the idea of a makeshift kitchen on the front.
It cost us a pound and consisted of a large plastic sheet which we pegged down and lifted to height with a set of additional tent poles.
We were able to sit in it in our collapsible chairs to cook our meals or simply relax.
Great memories.

Written for

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Share your World: 18th March


Do You Have Any Guilty Pleasures?
Wine gums or anything in the fruit pastille line.

What Is The Worst Pick Up Line You Ever Heard?
‘I’d like to wake up with you’   

What Slang Or Trend Makes You Feel Old?
Not being able to think of any!

What Do You Consider The Most Over-rated Song?
Karma Chameleon by Culture Club or most solo stuff by Paul McCartney

Instead of a Tender Mercies question, here’s a philosophical one instead:

You Find A Book And Begin To Read Only To Discover That It Is Your Life. You Get To The Point That You Are At Now, Do You Turn The Page Knowing That You Will Not Be Able To Change The Events To Come?

Hope it’s got lots of cartoon pictures, but I would probably have got bored and not finished it anyway. I’d rather enjoy the moment than worry about what was to come if I didn’t like it.

Of course if you wish to share a Grateful For Tender Mercies (aka grateful, optimistic or happy) comment, that’s fine too!
Maggie is better today.


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